'Dadchelor' Parties Give Fathers-to-Be the Pregnancy Attention They Deserve

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pregnant belly kiss Pregnancy is basically the last time in a woman's life when everything is all about her. It's like the minute people see a protruding baby bump, they immediately rush to fawn all over the mom-to-be by pampering her, opening doors, telling her to relax and put her feet up -- and of course there's the whole baby shower thing.

I never really thought about it too much during my own pregnancy, but it's pretty easy to see where dads-to-be can wind up feeling a bit left out, like they really aren't part of the equation at all. And that's why I'm totally in favor of the growing trend of men having "Dadchelor parties" as a final send-off into parenthood from their buddies.

Yes, "Dadchelor" parties, as in bachelor parties for men who are about to embark on the journey of parenting and say goodbye to nights out with the boys forever. (Or at least until the kid is out of diapers.)

Ok, so what exactly happens at these popular male-bonding sessions? Well, it depends on the dude in question, I guess. Tori Spelling's husband, Dean McDermott, was thrown one of these shin-digs, and he and his friends went to a clay shooting range for some good old fashioned testosterone-filled fun. Of course, they also wound up making flower arrangements to take home to their families, so it's not like the entire day was centered around masculinity.

And while these Dadchelor parties seem to be gaining more stamina now that the Hollywood types have hopped on board, they've actually been around for a while. Last year, The Huffington Post did a piece on the phenomenon, and detailed a party of one dad-to-be whose send-off into fatherhood included a pub crawl around the city. And the dad who planned the booze fest summed up the reasoning for having the party perfectly: "Let's have one more night where responsible decisions don’t matter."

I guess that makes sense, as long as whatever "irresponsible decisions" are made are at least made within the realm of what is considered socially acceptable for married men. ('Nuff said.)

If these Dadchelor parties had existed back when I was expecting my son, I would've been all for my husband having one and enjoying one last hurrah. Why shouldn't dads get to enjoy just as much fuss and attention as the moms? Isn't it better for them to get the party bug out of their system before the baby arrives as opposed to stumbling home drunk at three o'clock in the morning and being scolded for being out having fun while their wife has been up for hours trying to comfort a screaming baby?

What do you think -- does your man deserve a Dadchelor party? (And do you trust him to behave if he has one?)


Image via The Lesch Family/Flickr

baby showers, fathers


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Sili M. Recio

Mine had a dadchelor party. As I recall he went out the night before my big babyshower. I think it's cool and necessary. They have to put up with the hormones, they should be allowed to hang out with the boys. But, do they really give all that up when the baby comes?

the4m... the4mutts

Hahaha no.

While I think more baby showers should be family friendly or co-ed, dadchelor parties sound stupid to me.

At my baby shower, there were gifts for the baby, and for the family. Gifts like wine for mom & dad to share, baby clothes that saId things to the effect of "daddys boy", and we even got a whole gift basket for a picnic under the stars. A blanket to sit on, sausages & crackers, cheese, candles, wine...

Babies area family affair. Not a chance for dad to get drunk before baby comes, or to spend a day away from his woman when the chances are pretty high that she might go in to labor while he's gone.

Nobody wants to spend half their labor alone, then deal with a drunk man in the delivery room.

the4m... the4mutts

And NOBODY should be stumbling drunk in the door when there are babies/kids in the home, even if they're not the main caregiver. There's nothing saying a guy can't have a guys' night after baby is born. But advocating for men to go get shit faced with a pregnant wife, when he might be needed, is just silly.

young... youngmom16

Id say sure, but only if they didn't go out all the time DURING the woman's pregnancy. And as long as he didn't get drunk or anything, that way in case of an emergency he could be there for her if needed.

24Mom2Be 24Mom2Be

I'm 50/50, I gave my husband a diaper bash=bring beer and diapers. But the huge misconception in that story is that pregnancy is about the mom because its not, it's about the baby. I didn't get to have one last party night before I found out I was pregnant so why should he. Of course I wasn't super hormonal and mean during my pregnancy, I didn't make him stop ordering drinks when we went out just because I couldn't drink. Honestly the only thing that really changed during the pregnancy was that I was miserable and in pain, had less of a desire to play video games because I rather find out what was going on in my body.

Rebecca Sain

I disagree with this. I think Dads should be included in the baby shower and stuff like that. For heaven's sake, it's not like the mommy is partying, she is pregnant and that's no party and it's not like a baby shower is a "let's get drunk and party" type of party. Why does he get to do that? Crazy to me.

Butte... ButterflyEyesxX

The whole idea of "dadchelor" and the tittle is just silly shinenigans. Idk what kind of daddy-to-be's husbands would think their unborn baby's shower is all about their wives. I am wide aware that as soon as women become pregnant everything stops being about them and is more focused on the baby. But, ofcourse they're going to be pampared like queens, pregnancy is the most beautiful thing in the world and babies are a joyful miracle from above. I get why a guy would feel left out or jealous, they don't contribute so much on the baby palloosa, they want to be part of every detail, because as the father he plays an equally parent role as the mother. Mothers are specially entittled to the pregnancy's celebration and make all decisions, it becomes feminist, it's feminist, but shouldn't be too feminist, the dad has to be considered. Baby showers gift the baby and both parents, so quit the whining and enjoy the biggest joy of life with your wife. No guy's life is over when they have a baby, it's only the beginning of a new chapter, for both parties. :-)

Todd Vrancic

Didn't get a "dadchelor" party when my wife was pregnant, didn't want one.

Christina Hartman

can't say I was a reasonable pregnant women, by the 8th month I held him hostage. If I was suffering, damned if I was letting him off the hook of going out and having fun. Any other time I am reasonable and he does get guy time.

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