Not Many New Moms Can Afford a Post-Baby Body Like Beyonce's

OMG 10

Beyonce, babyI guess I just so happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. That seems to happen to me a lot, like when the homeless man did a sassy strip tease in exchange for onlookers’ spare change in front of the cigar bar where my friend’s bridal shower was held, then proceeded to single me out and tell me that if he had his real teeth, he would bite me. That right there is a good example of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

So, too, is an encounter with a man who chatted me up in line at the grocery store, where the 20 items or less lane was being bogarted by a senior citizen who thought age entitled him to check out as many purchases as his fixed income would permit. This gave the two of us plenty of time to make chatty observations as he thumbed through a People. He stopped on a picture of Beyonce, all in her post-Blue Ivy glow

“She looks great,” he nodded in approval. Then he dropped the bomb: “My wife had my son around the same time she had her baby and she don’t look nothing like that.” (Peep how he said “my son,” not “our son.” Just another thing I picked up on.)

I cocked my head to the side and gave him the c’mon sir snarl on behalf of the absent spouse who was not only unavailable to defend herself, but all women who run up against stupid, mindless comments like his.

“Beyonce,” I began slowly, so as to pace myself and not snap into over-sassy snarkiness, “has a trainer, a personal chef, a nutritionist, a stylist, and a team of people who push, pull, and fluff her into shape. That doesn’t just happen. She doesn’t have that kind of body. Most women don’t.”

He wasn’t convinced and he showed as much by shaking his head and flicking the page with his finger for emphasis. “But still, she got her body back. You can’t even tell she had a baby. She looks the same. Maybe even better.” (Drool, drool, drool.)

At this point, it took every fiber of control the good Lord instilled in me to not grab the magazine that had caused all of this confusion and box his ears with it. The woman he was married to had hauled around a truckload of extra weight, offering up her own comfort—and yes, her waistline—to the pregnancy gods for nine months, then huffed and puffed her way through heaven only knows how many hours of active labor in order to bring his baby into the world, and this? This is the thanks she gets? Put-downs to a random stranger in line at the local Shoppers?

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “That’s cold,” I shot back over my shoulder, partly because I was done talking to him and partly because my dear, sweet elder had finished tangling up checkout traffic. But it just reinforced, even in that short period of time, how so many men place unrealistic expectations on women and how we’re supposed to look, particularly when we’re measured against the yardstick of Hollywood babes.

He’s not looking at the reality of the body shaper that’s got everything that hasn’t been worked off yet sucked and tucked into submission, or considering the glam squad that picks the right things to make her look more svelte than she is, or the team who whips her back into shape, since her body is part of her brand and, therefore, her business to look good.

If that’s how it’s going to be, heaven help them the day women start doling out Ryan Lotche and Lance Gross body standards.

Did you hear insensitive comments about your body or your weight gain when you become a mother?


Image via Photos by Lina/Flickr

weight gain, eating for two, fathers

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2teen... 2teens2LOs

never because my man loved me and still loves me the way I am even while I was 50+ lbs heavier at the peak of my 9 month haul he still loved it LOL


of course I didn't keep all that weight, but I didn't lose it all either- who wants to continue to look like a school girl at 30 years old, women need some meat on thier bones ;)


and as far as the man above goes- his poor wife, because she certainly has a LOSER for a husband! and he was probably chatting you up for more than an conversation on his part which makes him a DOUBLE loser!

nonmember avatar Rachel

You pointed out that it was a problem that he said "my son" instead of "our son", yet when talking about pregnancy and labor, you referred to the baby as "his". How convenient.

But you're right - he's a jerk for drooling over Beyonce while scorning his own wife. If only men could give birth...

anfin... anfinley89

Yea .. df just said he other night that I had guns .. he was referring to my  arms. I will never ask him to help me take a shirt off again!!! :(

ruby_... ruby_jewel_04

I am so glad my husband doesn't think that way. What a douche. 

Todd Vrancic

I will say that man did not speak for all men.  My wife is more beautiful to me with each passing day, but I don't hold Beyonce to that standard, she could never measure up.

Torra... TorranceMom

After the birth of my first child, my Dad said, "Looks like you've still got one in there." Three months later I was back in double zeros and he still looks like he swallowed a basketball. 😝

DMart... DMartin21

Celebrities are not the only people who bounce right back after pregnancy. Why is that so hard for some people to believe or accept?? Does it make you feel better to believe that's its absolutely impossible? My MIL had 3 kids and she has a body that could put a 25 year old to shame.

nonmember avatar Tigerese

He's clearly a jerk. But I would have put him on ignore and just said a silent prayer for his wife. She picked this douche. When my ex asked me how come I don't have the body like so and so, I responded with how come you don't have the money like so and so or how come you're not as good in bed as so and so. Marriage doesn't give anyone the right to insult their spouse.

marpu76 marpu76

I myself definitely see the negative things the pregnancy added to my body. My husband has been wonderful and actually says my body is better after the pregnancy. At the same time he can make a very critical comment about another woman (often much more beautiful or thinner than I am) - which makes me believe that the beauty is truly in the eyes of beholder. When you truly love someone, you



see them as beautiful? ... On a different note, I often think how much depends on ever changing beauty standards. I am not the first one to notice that: look at the old paintings, the meaty, soft, spongy Veneras, Europas and so on. In 19th century with the clothes women wore the accent was on your hands, face, hair, your voice and your manners. You can take a girl who in today's world is considered "fatty", put her in gorgeous Victorian dress, put her hair up, - and she would be a beauty. I recently read a documentary book about "mail order" brides of West Coast; some men were demanding divorce because they married pretty women and after the wedding night realized their brand new wives had false hips and padding under their dresses... Extra padding to appear bigger to look MORE BEAUTIFUL. At the same time those skinny ladies wished they could be born at the time when voluptuous figure goes of fashion... So it never stops, really!

marpu76 marpu76

Ladies, here is the link to another article, about "weight gain" commercials of the past :)


http://www.styleite.com/media/vintage-weight-gain-ads/#3

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