People Who Spend Thousands of Dollars for a Baby Girl Should Reconsider Becoming Parents

Rant 133

baby girlWe all know about how in places like, oh, I don't know, China, people are so brainwashed to want sons that they routinely abort female fetuses, right? Well, in yet another twisted example of human nature's inherent screwed up-ness, it turns out that women in this country are paying tens of thousands of dollars to guarantee they'll give birth to a girl baby. Apparently prenatal gender selection is a multi-million -- yes, multi-million -- dollar industry right here in America. Um, how did this happen?

Preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD) was originally developed to screen for genetic diseases. It's similar to in vitro fertilization; the difference is the removal and testing of one single cell before the embryo is implanted. The process runs couples about $18,000 a pop and approximately 4,000 to 6,000 procedures are performed annually. Because ... I have absolutely no idea.

I suppose, as a parent, I have no business wondering why a couple would go to such great lengths to choose their child's sex -- I have one daughter and one son, the "best of both worlds," I'm often told. (Another common refrain, "Oh, so now you can stop!") And I know I'm super-lucky.

But the real reason why I'm super-lucky has nothing to do with the gender of my kids, it has to do with the fact that they were both born healthy. I am blessed beyond words, but I have to believe I would feel equally charmed to have two healthy boys or two healthy girls.

I know a lot of you are probably rolling your eyes: Easy for her to say, she has one of each. But I just don't get why someone like the anonymous woman featured in Slate's article on this topic would spend "weeks in bed crying" after finding out she was pregnant with her 3rd boy or why she would spend over $40,000 to ultimately have a daughter. Even if she was "worth every penny" and "better than a new car or a kitchen reno." (Seriously, that's a quote.)

What do you think?

Would you spend thousands of dollars to choose your child's sex?


Image via peasap/Flickr

boy or girl, tests & procedures


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

nonmember avatar shelly

I agree with you, actually. If a person is SO determined to get one gender...I really think there is something wrong upstairs. They shouldn't be parents. Not until they get help.

Lesley Wood

I'm not quite sure I understand what the problem is. It seems you are saying: China is wrong to want to abort baby girls, and the U.S. is wrong to want to pay $ for a baby girl. Are you saying it is wrong to want a baby girl? or are you simply saying: future parents should spend their money on a kitchen remodel-this would be worth more in the future? I agree, parents should feel pleased and wanting nothing more then a healthy child-no matter the sex-but in this age of science and technology choices exist and I'm happy for those that can benefit.

Wendy L. Pethtel

god gives you what your supposed to get. Worst part is maybe it was gods plan for you to have 2 more boys before giving you that girl you so wanted. Just think those boys could have cured cancer or given us world peace, but because of your inpatients we will never know.

nonmember avatar Michelle

This is nuts! My husband and I have three daughters, and we didn't have to pay to ensure that's what we got. We let nature take its course. (We even lost one about five years ago that was a girl). We would have liked to have a boy, but it just wasn't in the cards for us. We're happy to have three healthy girls!!

nonmember avatar Charlee

The gender of my child was not as important as his health. There are very few good surprised in life that we chose not to know the gender until his birth. He is my only child due to medical issues and it pains me to think that other people become so shallow as to decide which gender will better fit into their lives.

nonmember avatar Mommy of 3 boys

I understand the want to have a baby girl! I have 3 happy, healthy, and wonderful baby boys! I was never upset with knowing that's what I was having. God had a reason for blessing me with all 3 of them. If he wants me to have a daughter he will give me one. If not then he had a reasoning for it. I would never pay money to insure that's what I would have. That is ridiculous and selfish if you ask me. Be happy with what your given.

nonmember avatar Rachel

The people in China are no more brainwashed than anyone else. If we were only allowed to have ONE child, I'm sure there'd be a lot of parents aborting female babies too (or giving them up for adoption). After all, she won't carry on the family name. It feels better to believe we're above it all, but we're really not. Why else would some families have so many girls? It's often because they wanted a boy. Obviously, I'm not saying all parents are gender obsessed (I've noticed the readers here are very self-centered and think that if they're different, then a general statement about the majority must not be true). I personally wouldn't pay to select a gender, though I think I'm more partial to a baby girl. My hubby, on the other hand, is partial to a baby boy. At the end of the day though, we know it doesn't really matter. A baby is a baby and we'll love him/her regardless.

Sarah Ray

um- wow. I really think you should not be writing this article. As someone who has given birth to 4 boys I bawled for 2 days solid, completely inconsolable after finding out #4 was another boy. Of COURSE I was happy he was healthy and I love him, but that doesn't mean I feel the desire for a daughter any less, and it doesn't change the fact that that was my last pregnancy because it was so hard on my physically and mentally. If I had the money to do it I would have paid for a daughter absolutely. Until you have been in my shoes then you have no right to comment like that. Seriously, could you be more judgemental? Put a sock in it! And these comments agreeing that I shouldn't be a parent because I have a gender preference? Grow the %$&* up! Ugh.


I admit, I wanted a boy, badly. I was soooo happy to find out that's what we're having. I can't say I'd have "spent weeks in bed crying" if it'd been a girl. What does that say about them, when they'll discriminate against a FETUS for being the wrong gender? Do they love their boys less? I don't get it.

Rachel Schiller

If they want to spend money on that then thats fine, it is their choice.

1-10 of 133 comments 12345 Last