Man Accused of Pulling Gun on Pregnant Woman for Smoking Needs to Lighten Up

Say What!? 79

pregnant woman smokingEvery pregnant woman has been there -- the stranger who touches your belly, the weirdo in the locker room who stares at your naked form a little too long, the man who tells you soft cheeses are verboten. We all have had that moment during our pregnancies where not only are our bodies suddenly hijacked by a baby, they are also now open for public judgment and scorn.

No one knows this better than a pregnant woman in Washington who accused 24-year-old Justin Dain Palmer of pulling a gun on her after he screamed at her for smoking while pregnant. He denies that he pulled a gun, but not that he confronted her, saying: "Who the heck smokes when they're pregnant?"

It's a good question, to be sure. Smoking during pregnancy is not all that bright. But it's also something else: none of his damn business. Oh yeah. I went there.

Unless a pregnant woman is actively stabbing herself about the midsection in broad daylight, then whether she eats brie or cold cuts or chooses to smoke or have a drink or two is NONE of anyone's business. Judge all you want. But do it silently. It's her baby. It's her body.

Look, I can't defend smoking while pregnant and Lord knows I was a stickler about every little thing that went into my body both times I was pregnant. But I also know that pregnancy is hard on a woman, and if smoking is something she can't quit, well then, it's not really my place to yell and scream at her.

Parenting is so much about other people's opinions sometimes. I can't stand when someone looks at me funny or makes a comment about my "cold" daughter when it's 50 degrees and she is in short sleeves.

Would it make a difference to know that my daughter happens to run extremely hot and never wants a jacket? What about if I told you one of my main parenting philosophies is to let my children dictate their own bodies? If they're warm, I'm not going to force them into a jacket. That is a battle not worth having, especially when it would only be for appearances.

I realize it isn't the same thing as smoking while pregnant. And I realize a pregnant woman's body isn't completely her own and the baby can't speak for him or herself. But even still. It isn't the place of a person who knows nothing about a pregnant woman's back story to step in and say anything. 

This is especially true of men. Guess how much I care what a man who will never be pregnant thinks about how I am as a pregnant woman? Yep. That much. 

Do you think people have the right to confront a pregnant woman?


Image via west.m/Flickr

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jalaz77 jalaz77

Not with a gun, thank god he isn't trigger happy.

Christy Lynn Mastantuono

pulling a gun on someone is a little crazy but he obviously didn't have any intention on shooting her and therefore hurting the baby..she knows how much it hurts her baby when she smokes and doesnt give a damn about it. it disgusts me when pregnant women do that. I have 3 beautiful kids, a 9 year old little girl and 2 baby boys under 2 and I would never even think of doing something so awful to them. It's so wrong. I imagine that poor baby in that little space encircled by smoke that their mother just had to breathe in, knowing full well that her baby is in her body. It's sickening and I have no sympathy for her. Every time I see someone do this I want to tell them how disgusting they are but I don't...but I disagree that it's not our business. I feel it's child abuse.

ClemF... ClemFamily

Not that I agree with pulling a gun or yelling at a pregnant woman (I just gave birth 2 weeks ago to our 2nd son), but smoking while pregnant causes damage to the fetus...its just as bad as drinking while pregnant. If a pregnant woman is going to smoke, drink, etc. she can't expect everyone to ignore such behavior when its bad for the child. I also agree that its not their business but they may be watching out for the woman and child/children.

nonmember avatar malorie

Come on ladys I quite smokin the day I found out I was prego, it was easy knowing I was takin care of my daughters health instead if killing us both!

nonmember avatar Steffany

What if the guy really didn't pull a gun...come on just bc she is pregnant doesn't mean she is honest. he is saying he did not, and if he cared that much that she was smoking while pregnant it makes no sense at all that he would pull again causing her more stress to harm her baby! Unless there is proof we can't believe everything we hear!

nonmember avatar Michelle

After two losses five months apart almost five years ago, it really hurt to see a pregnant woman smoking, especially considering the fact that we were due the same month. I lost mine, (after giving up everything I was supposed to), and she went to have a healthy baby. The baby's a relative, so I'm very glad she's healthy, I just wish the mother could have quit smoking. (I found out the reason for my losses later, and with my next pregnancy, had the right medication I needed, and now have a healthy 2-yr-old child, along with my two older children).

nonmember avatar Joan

So if I see an adult giving cigarettes to an infant I'm not suppose to say anything? The baby deserves a chance at health and if you're too selfish or dumb to give them that shot you best believe I'm going to yell at you for it. It's not "your right" it's abuse and disgusting and just plain mean

Judith Bandsma

Although it hasn't been used lately SC has laws allowing a pregnant woman to be arrested if a police officer deems that she is doing something that could be injurious to the fetus. That includes wearing high heels, putting salt on her food and driving in the last trimester. Totally subjective and at the whim of the officer.

nonmember avatar Me

I honestly think its no ones business what u do when ur pregnant. I have a very healthy 6 year old and I smoked while I was pregnant.

nonmember avatar Eberenz1

I also have a doctor that said to cut down but NOT to quit when I got pregnant because it puts too much stress on the baby! I definitely do NOT agree with the people saying that it is their business when they see a pregnant woman smoking, it is nobody's business but the woman's and the father of that child! If you think it is your business about another person smoking then be damn sure that it is mine and everybody else's business about how you take care/raise your child/children! I smoked while I was pregnant and I have a very smart, vibrant HEALTHY 2 year old little boy!:) That was a decision between me and my husband, he never has smoked but ultimately it was my decision and after US both talking to my doctor, we decided that I would cut down on smoking so I didn't put more stress on OUR baby than I would have by quitting all together...I also have more than just one friend that smoked while they were pregnant and they ALL also have healthy, vibrant children! This is America ladies and gents, you may NOT agree with what someone else is doing but if it's NOT your body or your life than it IS NOT YOUR DECISION TO MAKE! I think it is absolutely ridulicous that somebody pulled a gun on a pregnant woman because she was smoking, as if the stress and trauma from having a gun pulled on you isn't going to be dangerous to that baby...that person would be lucky to be alive after my husband and brothers got hold of him, that's for sure!

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