Every pregnant woman has been there -- the stranger who touches your belly, the weirdo in the locker room who stares at your naked form a little too long, the man who tells you soft cheeses are verboten. We all have had that moment during our pregnancies where not only are our bodies suddenly hijacked by a baby, they are also now open for public judgment and scorn.
No one knows this better than a pregnant woman in Washington who accused 24-year-old Justin Dain Palmer of pulling a gun on her after he screamed at her for smoking while pregnant. He denies that he pulled a gun, but not that he confronted her, saying: "Who the heck smokes when they're pregnant?"
It's a good question, to be sure. Smoking during pregnancy is not all that bright. But it's also something else: none of his damn business. Oh yeah. I went there.
Unless a pregnant woman is actively stabbing herself about the midsection in broad daylight, then whether she eats brie or cold cuts or chooses to smoke or have a drink or two is NONE of anyone's business. Judge all you want. But do it silently. It's her baby. It's her body.
Look, I can't defend smoking while pregnant and Lord knows I was a stickler about every little thing that went into my body both times I was pregnant. But I also know that pregnancy is hard on a woman, and if smoking is something she can't quit, well then, it's not really my place to yell and scream at her.
Parenting is so much about other people's opinions sometimes. I can't stand when someone looks at me funny or makes a comment about my "cold" daughter when it's 50 degrees and she is in short sleeves.
Would it make a difference to know that my daughter happens to run extremely hot and never wants a jacket? What about if I told you one of my main parenting philosophies is to let my children dictate their own bodies? If they're warm, I'm not going to force them into a jacket. That is a battle not worth having, especially when it would only be for appearances.
I realize it isn't the same thing as smoking while pregnant. And I realize a pregnant woman's body isn't completely her own and the baby can't speak for him or herself. But even still. It isn't the place of a person who knows nothing about a pregnant woman's back story to step in and say anything.
This is especially true of men. Guess how much I care what a man who will never be pregnant thinks about how I am as a pregnant woman? Yep. That much.
Do you think people have the right to confront a pregnant woman?
Image via west.m/Flickr
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Comments 79
Smoking is in the tot 5 most dumb, most selfish list of shit to do while pregnant.
I'm a smoker, and it disgusts me to see pregnant women smoking.
Cont:
But yelling, cursing, or pulling a gun? He should be arrested. What a bastard!
You can't just go screaming in random peoples faces.
It always flabergasts me when I see ladies hanging out outside my OB's office smoking, or they'll be sitting in the waiting room and announce, "I need to go have a smoke", and pick up their purse and head outside. While sitting under an anti-smoking poster. I suppose it's better that they are honest about smoking than pretending they don't do it, there's no since in being hypocritical. It just always seems so odd to me, like you should be on your best behavior there, lol
Somehow I think being SHOT while pregnant is probably worse for the child.
*smh*
I think it's sad that we now live in a society where people are so mean and disrespectful to others. Those of you who would judge and confront a smoking pregnant woman, do you really think it's going to do anything positive for anyone outside of feeding your own superiority complex? The pregnant woman, who in all reality likely has all of the information and has still made her choice, is simply going to say, "Wow, random stranger, thank you for advising me to quit smoking. I will stop right now." smh
^^agreed.