There's something so indescribably wonderful about those first days after you learn you're pregnant, don't you think? It's like walking around with a glowing secret inside your body -- no one else knows yet, but you're in the midst of a magical process that will utterly transform your life forever after.
Of course, shortly after basking in your newfound status as mama-to-be, it's time to get down to the serious business of adhering to the many guidelines for having a safe and healthy pregnancy. The good news is that there are SO MANY OF THEM nowadays! The bad news is that THEY ALL CONFLICT EACH OTHER.
Don't believe me? Here's a list of recent migraine-inducing pregnancy recommendations, in all their confusing glory:
Eat more salmon! The omega-3 fatty acids are crucial for early fetal development.
No, don't eat salmon! Salmon lowers levels of secretory immunoglobulin-A -- an important antibody that protects newborns against infection -- in breastmilk.
Actually ... maybe you just shouldn't eat fish, period. AHHHH MERCURY.
Either way, for god's sake, don't eat too much. Pigging out during pregnancy will totally make you fat, and we all know that's worse than DEATH.
In fact, you should diet. If you're pregnant and obese, you need a dietary intervention.
But if you do diet, know that you're harming your pregnancy. God, you're selfish. It isn't all about you, you know.
Make sure to keep exercising. It's so good for you!
But don't actually work up a sweat. Thinking of going for a jog? You could have a miscarriage.
Maybe you should just go for a swim. Swimming is basically perfect.
Or ... not. Swimming is also fraught with hidden dangers.
Yoga's cool, though. Especially for fighting depression.
Well, except for all those dangerous poses. Like squatting, sitting cross-legged, balancing, lying on your back, inversions, twists ...
Get a flu shot. The flu is dangerous, the vaccine is fine.
No, just wash your hands a lot instead. DON'T BUY INTO BIG PHARMA.
Go ahead, have a drink! Moderate drinking is FINE.
Fine for people who want to DAMAGE THEIR CHILD, that is. The only good alcoholic beverage during pregnancy is a NONEXISTANT ONE.
Coffee is safe. No need to cut back on the morning joe!
Of course, the less you consume, the better. Avoidance is your safest bet ... unless you LIKE tempting fate.
Definitely keep working throughout your pregnancy. Research shows it can be helpful!
Just know that working late in pregnancy reduces fetal growth, among other things. Apparently it's just as dangerous as smoking. Hope you didn't need that paycheck.
Lastly, for the love of god, do NOT get stressed. Seriously. Don't. JUST DON'T OKAY? CALM DOWN RIGHT THIS MINUTE OH MY GOD YOUR BABY!!!!
There, I hope I cleared some things up for you. Enjoy your happy, healthy, stress-free pregnancy!
Do you ever get frustrated by conflicting pregnancy guidelines?
Image via Mahalie/Flickr
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Comments 31
My boyfriend laughs at me when I come to him with science. He says (And my dad agrees... omg end of the world!!!!) That they're coming out with new studies every day, and its all geared towards one side or the other. Like the spanking thing. No, don't get into that here. Not the point. But I try hard to get him to understand that YES you should eat fiber rich foods, because it will help you poop. Your son needs to lay off the junk food and have real food otherwise he courts disaster with the possibility of childhood obesity and diabetes among other health issues that can happen when all you eat is oreos, potato chips and loads of chocolate. Yes I love these too, but I eat three meals a day and etc.
The point of it is, just do what you feel is healthy, and above all, be careful. If you are preggo and something feels off/wierd/bad stop and call your doctor. And talk to them about vitamin supplements if your scared of fish.
I say dont even listen to your dr unless its something YOU feel you need advice on. Otherwise eats some damn fist (its good for you), drink your coffee (its worse to quite cold turkey) and enjoy a class of wine now and then (Good for you heart and your blood pressure). The only advice i really considred came from the women in my family who have all produced healthy intelegent and active children (which is all) My grandmothers were the biggest help, they knew how to listen to their bodies and didnt have the option of going on google to see if what felt to be right was actually right or wrong based on "Their" veiws!!!! ENJOY YOUR PREGNANCY!
Oh I got so upset with my pregnancy. Supposedly I had gestational diabetes and my baby was suppsoed to be huge b/c for a while I didn't know I was pregnant (still had cycles). I had a 7lb 9oz baby... They made me induce labor b/c I was going to most definately have like a 9lb or more baby and that's hazardous to both baby and mama. I was walking and eating more healthy then I noramlly do and they still ended up telling me I had to shoot myself up with insulin b/c my sugar wasn't where they wanted it. Needless to say I am going to read guidlines more carfully and go with my instincts b/c my baby was perfectly healthy and a "normal" size despite all their panic.
what a joke on the working until the end is as bad as smoking <eye roll> I worked until the end on my first, and he was 8lb8oz and 21". I'd hate to see how big he'd be if I'd stopped work at 8 months! I figure this is just a "women shouldn't work" BS or a sign that women who can quit earlier maybe are wealthier. I find that one offensive.
I got a kick out of this, read it aloud to my sisters. I just think to maintain sanity you should eat healthy, when you're hungry and work out a little bit. Don't over do anything, and don't worry so much!