I'm going to get a lot of flack for saying this, but that's okay. I think there is a big infertility myth that goes on with women over 35. Am I saying that older can get pregnant as easily as younger women? No. (Please read that again.) Am I saying that the risks are not higher? No. (Read that again.) What I am saying is that I believe it's easier for women over 35 -- or even 40 -- to get pregnant than they think it is. And now here comes Carla Bruni, France's ex-First Lady and an ex-supermodel, pregnant AGAIN at 44 years old.
Did Carla use fertility drugs or IVF to get pregnant at 44? It's certainly possible -- but I don't think so. Here is why. Carla gave birth to her last child, daughter Giulia, only nine months ago! Plus, it's reported that she suffers from postpartum depression. And since her husband lost the election, she wants to return to her former career as a pop singer.
Additionally, Carla doesn't sound like she enjoyed pregnancy too much. She told French mag Le Parisien:
Quite frankly, I can't stand it anymore. I spend most of my time either sitting down or lying down. I can't smoke or drink anymore. I'm in a hurry to get it over with.
Does this like someone who is so anxious to have another child that she would run to the fertility doc?
Carla's experience is one I see all the time. I know many women who have given birth over 35 and didn't use any drugs to get pregnant. I have one friend who went through several rounds of treatments in her 20s, failed to conceive, and then, at 38, got pregnant naturally. And that isn't an anomoly. I know women who went off birth control when they hit 40 because they thought it would be "impossible" to get knocked up. And boom! They got knocked up. My gyno confirmed for me that she sees women over 35 get pregnant all the time without drugs.
So why would there be an "infertility myth"? Sure, much of it is NOT a myth. Your chances of getting pregnant do decrease with age. But they don't necessarily decrease to zero -- or even decrease to the point where drugs are needed. Let's think about how many millions of dollars the fertility industry makes -- and whether or not it might be to its advantage to perpetuate difficulties beyond what might actually exist.
Do you think infertility for older women is exaggerated?
Image via SpaceOdissey/Flickr
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Comments 25
I agree married when I was young, .lost the husband to death. now him and I have a 12 year old DD, I was just pregnant at 39 a few days back I had a miscarriage but hopefully trying again ... at 39, 40... however long it takes God willing
I'm an older mom and didn't have any trouble conceiving. I got pregnant with my 1st at 36 and now again at 38 and both times we barely had to try. Obviously I feel fortunate and my heart goes out to those of any age that have difficulty getting pregnant.
My husband thinks I'm ridiculous but one of my biggest fears is that we will end up with an 'oops' baby when I'm in my late thirties. We purposely had children young. People always say, "Enjoy life while you're young" Well, we don't really have any money now to travel or do exciting things now, but the plan is that when our kids graduate high-school, (I'll be 42 when our youngest graduates, hopefully, lol) then we will be settled enough to go out and have 'fun'. However, I'm super paranoid that we will end up with a kid when my older two are teenagers. While I know we would love the child, I'm taking every possible precaution to make sure that doesn't happen, lol.
Im kinda going the same route as MomaLlama. I had my first at 21 and I'm about to have my second in Sept at 27. I definitely wanted my baby making years to be over before 30 and am planning to have my tubes tied.
As far as the article though, I thought women had to go through health checks and a time of actually trying to get pregnant naturally before resorting to medical interventions but if said woman feels like she doesnt have the time, then she should feel entitled to go about getting pregnant any way she sees fit, really...
I think the bigger "myth" is that women in thiere 20's are fertile myrtles.....so its hard for people to understand me when I was in my early 20's trying to get pregnant. "oh, you've got plenty of time" Etc......When your fertility meter starts off in the single digits and can only go downhill from there.....yeah, that makes your biological clock a lot shorter than everyone else's.
I am 41 (42 in Oct.) and expecting my first in 5 weeks. We did a year of fertility drugs and iui's and then gave up and took a break while we researched the idea of IVF with donor eggs because I was told, at my age, that was my best chance of getting pregnant.
That first month of no treatment, I ended up pregnant! I have no plans to go on birth control after she's born because I feel like she's a bit of a miracle, but DH is convinced that means I'll end up pregnant with #2 within a year!
A lot of infertility is not actual biological infertility, it's a timing issue. You can only get pregnant 6 days out of your cycle (really more like 1-3 days at ovulation, but sperm can live up to 5 days so that extends it to 6). A lot of women know they should try around ovulation, but they don't realize that every women has a completely different cycle (some are 28 days...some are 21, 24, 33, 36, etc) that also changes often due to factors like stress, travel, etc. For anyone interested in trying out 'natural fertility' you can research the Lady Comp, a computer that charts your basil body temperature and your cycle for you and tells you when you're most fertile/not fertile (you can also use it for natural birth control like I do, FYI). it's actually a lote more accurate than most ovulation moniters b/c many cheap ov moniters ASSUME a 28 day cycle which is not correct foreveryone. obviously it's not a timing issue for everyone, just lots of times it can be, so it's worth checking out. :)