Pregnancy

For weeks we've been hearing how Kourtney Kardashian plans to give birth to her second child a la naturale in a bathtub. No drugs. Just Kourt, baby daddy Scott Disick, a tub full of warm water (no bath salts!), and a serene and sloshy birth. But, what's this? Apparently Kourtney has changed her mind. And changed it as in not in a gazillion damn years am I having no damn water birth! TMZ says that Kourt's change of heart (or uterus?) came after watching the waterbirth of a friend, who predictably screamed bloody murder through the whole thing. Now Kourt apparently wants an epidural, a hospital, and a grande birth suite a la Jessica/Beyonce.

Kourtney reportedly told everyone that her pal's tub birth looked "horrific" and "brutally painful." Welcome to my world, Kourt! I've had eyes wide open to the real world experience of childbirth since I was 5 years old. It was then that my mother, a hippie chick, gave birth to my sister at home. This day is etched more clearly in my memory than this morning. I was flipping terrified! TERRIFIED. Please, Kourt, tell me your plan wasn't to give little Mason a ringside seat?

Kourt should have been able to handle watching her pal's birth better than a 5-year-old, but maybe this H2O delivery didn't go quite as dreamily as Gisele's did. Who knows? Since Kourt has said her first birth was so easy, I'm not sure I believe she'd be so easily put off by a home delivery -- unless she saw something like out of Aliens.

But a hospital birth -- even with an epidural -- is not a guaranteed walk in the park. Two of my friends had epidural births and called me right afterward to tell me tales I have since been valiantly trying to forget. Lucky for them, some chemical in their new-mother-brains erased their experience -- but not for me! Thanks a lot, gals!

Many of you have said you had easy, pain-free births, with babies sliding out almost like they were greased up little marbles tossed through a hoola-hoop. I think that's great, and I believe you. But that doesn't happen for everyone. If it did, would we all discuss childbirth so much?

What was your birth like? Have you seen a live birth?

Image via CameraKarrie/Flickr