Women who lie about taking their birth control, please meet the man who got a vasectomy and didn't tell his wife.
A woman writing in to an advice column on Slate says she and her husband, "Harry," struggled for two years with infertility. She blamed herself. She thought maybe it was that STD she got when she was a teenager. Her husband told her his sperm count was just fine. She suffered in silence until one fateful afternoon when she confided in her mother-in-law. That was when she found out Harry had gotten a vasectomy years ago and had never told her about it.
Not cool, Harry. NOT COOL. But there's more. Are you ready for his weaselly response when she confronted him?
Harry says he got that vasectomy years ago because he thought he'd never want children. And he was kinda, you know, passively hoping that his wife would just eventually drop it. "Oh well, no baby for us. Chinese for dinner tonight?" Shrug.
When has that EVER happened. That is not what baby-hungry women do.
Supposedly he's sorry and had NO IDEA that she was blaming herself. Right. And he's willing to reverse the vasectomy even though he doesn't really want a baby. So is this all just a terrible misunderstanding or is he a total sociopath whose seed should most definitely not get passed on to the next generation?
I guess you could make the case that maybe they don't communicate well with each other. But nope, I'm going with option B: He's a douche bag. Getting a secret vasectomy and not telling your wife is just plain unethical. This is just as bad as wives lying about taking their birth control pills. Maybe even worse.
Which do you think is worse, lying about taking your birth control or lying about your vasectomy?
Image via Bethd821/Flickr
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Comments 54
Sociopath. You don't lie about things like that.
He shouldn't have lied, but its entirely possible he told her he didn't want children and she just didn't listen. Its not fair to judge a relationship that you are not a part of.
She needs to divorce him, like now! And find someone who WANTS a baby. I have an adopted son, and had to have guardianship papers in place before he left the hospital, because they could not allow him to go home to his birth parents because the dad had openly stated he didn't want the child and that made it so his home was considered a hostile environment for the baby. If she does get pregnant and have a baby with this man, who doesn't want a baby, what on earth makes her think he won't be hostile or resentful toward the child. Who wants a dad like that? She needs to find someone worthy of her and any future children.
Here's an even better question: What if she would have come to him one day and announced that she's pregnant?
Luuuuccccyyyy! You got some splainin to do.