Man Fails to Mention His Vasectomy to His Baby-Hungry Wife

scalpelWomen who lie about taking their birth control, please meet the man who got a vasectomy and didn't tell his wife.

A woman writing in to an advice column on Slate says she and her husband, "Harry," struggled for two years with infertility. She blamed herself. She thought maybe it was that STD she got when she was a teenager. Her husband told her his sperm count was just fine. She suffered in silence until one fateful afternoon when she confided in her mother-in-law. That was when she found out Harry had gotten a vasectomy years ago and had never told her about it.

Not cool, Harry. NOT COOL. But there's more. Are you ready for his weaselly response when she confronted him?

Harry says he got that vasectomy years ago because he thought he'd never want children. And he was kinda, you know, passively hoping that his wife would just eventually drop it. "Oh well, no baby for us. Chinese for dinner tonight?" Shrug.

When has that EVER happened. That is not what baby-hungry women do.

Supposedly he's sorry and had NO IDEA that she was blaming herself. Right. And he's willing to reverse the vasectomy even though he doesn't really want a baby. So is this all just a terrible misunderstanding or is he a total sociopath whose seed should most definitely not get passed on to the next generation?

I guess you could make the case that maybe they don't communicate well with each other. But nope, I'm going with option B: He's a douche bag. Getting a secret vasectomy and not telling your wife is just plain unethical. This is just as bad as wives lying about taking their birth control pills. Maybe even worse.

Which do you think is worse, lying about taking your birth control or lying about your vasectomy?


Image via Bethd821/Flickr

infertility, trying to conceive


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Todd Vrancic

Lying about any form of birth control is a deal breaker.  She should drop him like a hot rock!

calim... calimom73

What a D Bag.  I can't believe his mom ratted him out- LOL.

Gilmo... GilmoreGirl29

Neither is worse than the other. They are both dispicable things to do to another person.


MomLi... MomLily67

Mother in Law thaught son had told wife!! so he lied to mom and wife. What a creep. I read it on slate, and agree that she must  immediately divorce him and make him pay for the mental anguish. It is only fair.

jalaz77 jalaz77

What a jerk. And sorry, this would be a divorce for me since that is a HUGE part of a marriage unless they had discussed no kids before marriage either way she should have been told.

nonmember avatar Guest

Of course if the situation were reversed and the wife lied about her birth control, became pregnant, and the husband sued for divorce, he would still be on the hook for 18 years of child support.

Yes he's a jerk, but let's not fool ourselves over what's "fair" when it comes to matters of deceit.

the4m... the4mutts

You should never lie about reproduction. That is actually grounds for not just a divorce, but an annaulment. He led her to believe 1 thing before they got married, that thing couldn't happen.

He deceived her through fertility drs.... the whole 9 yards.

He's a dick and she should divorce him, and sue him for pain and suffering.

the4m... the4mutts

Guest, accidents happen whether BC is being used or not. He willingly has sex, there's a chance of a child. Of course he's still on the hook for child support. No different than a 1 night stand would still have to pay.

Any man that doesn't want kids, should be using condoms even with his wife, and making it clear from the get-go.

Anyone, man or woman, who lies about reproduction should have to pay damages to the person they lie to.

Cynthia Parten

Totally grounds for divorce. I can't imagine what that poor woman was going through trying to get pregnant for two years. Unbelievable.

purpl... purple_creeper

I think its equally wronf. But theres more reprecutions if there was an unwanted baby on the way

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