We tend to focus on the negative things in life. All of us do it for all kinds of things. Even when the negative thing has just a small percentage of even happening. Then the stress sets in, perhaps even upping that chance of the negative thing happening because of the stress. Terrible thing, isn't it? So I'm not going to do it right here right now when talking about older women becoming mothers. Not even when talking about women over 40 getting pregnant.
Just like when I got pregnant at my advanced maternal age, I didn't fixate on the statistics of potential issues I or my children could have. I focused on the good. And my outcome was better than good.
There are amazing first-time moms who are teenagers. There are fantastic first-time moms in their 20s. There are superb first-time moms in their 30s. And there are terrific first-time moms in their late-30s and 40s, too -- that age that once was considered ancient for having kids. Our life expectancy is rising; people are healthier longer; medicine has made phenomenal advances. It makes sense that there has been a rise in women 40 and over becoming moms ... for the first time or even the fifth time.
Though some feel that the recession has made many wait to have kids -- there is a study that showed it hasn't seemed to stop older women. But I'm not convinced there is too much of a correlation as far as money is concerned. I know many "older" moms -- and most of us are not wealthy and we have been affected by the recession -- some very much, some just a little. I even know women who have been laid off of work, unable to find a new job, and decided that this was a good time to have a baby. In those cases, the men in their lives were employed, so their was income coming into the household. Some of those women get lost in their job, put off having kids, and then one day think ... it's time!
However you come to your time to become a mother is your own personal journey -- whether it's by surprise or design. By mother nature or with a little help from modern medicine. We're all making amazing little babies.
For me, being an older mom, I think I learned patience deeper than I even thought I knew patience. I was very satisfied with my life so far, but I was so ready to have kids. I had many years of thinking about the day I became a mom, saw friends and family experience the joy, and knew I would be really ready someday. I was.
Mom Jessica Light, 43, talked to the Detroit Free Press on this older mom phenomenon. She has seven kids ranging in age from 6 months to 13 years. She said:
... in my 40s, I'm at the top of my game, and I have learned to live in the moment and be grateful for everything that I have been given. I don't waste any energy wishing this kid would sleep more at night.
Which is how I feel exactly. I'm happy. Grateful. I don't take any moment for granted. I don't feel old. I'm NOT old. Instead of seeing or thinking anything negative about an older mom, we should all instead focus on what is right. And what is right is very, very right.
Are you an older mom? Can you relate?
Image via Linda Cronin/Flickr
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Comments 27
The only concern I have about being pregnant at an "older" age (because we all know 35+ is ancient) are the known complications older women have during pregnancy. As far as being in your forties with kids, I say whatever age works. There is no right time to start/extend a family.
Thank you Lilac, Stacey and RhondaVeggie....here I am at the ripe old age of 34 and trying to have my first. After your comments I suddenly feel as if I am going to have too many complications to count, treat my child as an accessory and be too fat and lazy to do anything with them.
I believe the question was "Are you an older mom? Can you relate?". Apparently none of you can.
sweetbaby good luck you're going to need it....you havent made it past the trying stage and you're already letting strangers opinions affect you? I hope at 34 you can finally make your own conclusions about your life, body and future parenting style.
40 year old moms are creepy my mama is just now 46 and im in my 20's