Follow The Stir

Pregnancy

Mom Moment

Mom Delivers 'Miracle' Baby After 22 Years of Infertility

by Julie Ryan Evans on May 8, 2012 at 10:49 AM

baby toesAt 43 years of age, Paula Lackie thought she was starting menopause when she missed her period. After 22 years of infertility she knew the odds were almost nil that it could mean she was pregnant, but she still held out a small bit of hope somehow after all of the heartache. Seven pregnancy tests later, much to her great surprise, she discovered she was indeed pregnant; and last month she delivered her perfectly healthy baby girl, Isla.

Lackie told the Daily Mail they consider her their "little miracle," and that while they adopted two children along the way, they never stopped trying for a biological child as well. 'Every time I look at this beautiful miracle baby in my arms I have to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming."

It's an amazing story, and one that may offer to hope to those struggling with infertility. However, as someone who struggled with it for years, it's also one of those stories that can crush you.

It took more than two years of trying and emotional hell before we conceived my son. After his birth we tried and tried and tried for years to no avail. Eventually I had to give up hope because that hope was all consuming for me. I didn't want to buy new jeans, because what if the next month was it. I didn't want to plan a vacation, because a tropical vacation just wouldn't be the same without mojitos. Even buying a new pair of shoes was murky, because of the possibility my feet might grow during pregnancy. Everything in my mind was dependent that little what if.

So I gave up, completely ... and that's when we conceived my daughter. She and my son are five and half years apart in age, and while I feel like she's my own miracle baby, I always cringe a little bit when I tell my story to other women facing infertility. On one hand I want them to know there is hope, but on the other, I know for some there isn't, and how hard it is to cling to that hope. I also know how infuriating it can be to hear those it-happens-when-you-least-expect-it stories when you can't do anything to quell your expectations.

Sometimes giving up that hope is the best thing you can do, and I don't mean that in a "relax and it will happen" way, because I think that was the most infuriating advice I ever heard. But instead so that you can move on with your life and live it instead of always waiting, always wondering. So while I offer Lackie and her family a huge congratulations on what she calls her "fairytale ending," I also remember those who may never receive the same.

If you're going through infertility, do stories like this inspire you? Do you find it difficult or helpful to cling to hope?

 

Image via sabianmaggy/Flickr

 

Filed Under: baby prep, infertility

Comments

23
  • Leele...
    --

    Leelee1008

    May 8, 2012 at 11:32 AM

    I have not gone through infertility but I would hope that stories like that could give those who are, some hope.


  • Kritika
    --

    Kritika

    May 8, 2012 at 11:37 AM

    I have been TTC for my first for almost 7 months now. After spending probably over $100 on pregnancy tests the first few months (convinced I was just testing too early but it'll be positive tomorrow) It's now emotionally easier to just anticipate aunt flo than 2 lines these days. I've promised myself I won't buy another test unless I'm over a week late, which never happens, obviously. I can't imagine years of this! I'm happy for this couple...


  • mumma...
    --

    mummajenni

    May 8, 2012 at 11:55 AM
    When I lived life in two week windows, these stories gave me hope and crushed me depending on which window I was in... Those years were by far the most emotionally trying for me. Losing two pregnancies and trying and failing month after month in between changed me. Our last meeting with the RE ended something like, "I won't say it's impossible, because anything is possible, but you're not a candidate for ivf with your own eggs, you need to go home and think about donor eggs, because it's not going to happen for you naturally" -- We gave up in a way, and 3 weeks later had a positive test for our now 2 year old son. I do feel like it's a miracle. I never take this gift for granted and I'm probably a better mother and person because of everything I went through to have my son.
  • dusky...
    --

    dusky_rose

    May 8, 2012 at 11:59 AM

    I'm thankful that I haven't gone through that, so I can't even imagine.


  • Kritika
    --

    Kritika

    May 8, 2012 at 12:54 PM

    There are ways to make a bad situation good. Every time I'm tempted to buy a pregnancy test and I wait it out, I use that test money towards a new shirt or something when aunt flo finally comes as a reward for not wasting it on tests. Talk about retail thereapy lol...


  • Kaina...
    --

    Kainalu55

    May 8, 2012 at 1:22 PM
    Sad, I' so thankful I didn't have to deal with infertility, but sad for those who do
  • Bmat
    --

    Bmat

    May 8, 2012 at 2:54 PM

    Bless them.  I am glad that they were able to have a biological child as well as adopted children.


  • starr...
    --

    starreyedcutie

    May 8, 2012 at 7:13 PM
    I think a lot of women need to realize that NOT trying to have A baby is the best way to actually get pregnant. I've known people that for years go through fertility treatments with no luck and being told they would never have A baby but as soon as they relaxed they got pregnant naturally. Your body will not let you get pregnant if you are going crazy trying
  • MamaB...
    --

    MamaBear2cubs

    May 8, 2012 at 9:37 PM

    I think it's a lovely story. I have had infertility issues and found it was best to not really try and just let nature take it's course.


  • ceciliam
    --

    ceciliam

    May 9, 2012 at 10:30 AM

    Amazing!


1-10 of 23 comments

To leave a comment, log in as a CafeMom member:

Log In

OR, use our non-member comment form: