"Now that I'm not having morning sickness all the time, and I'm finally starting to eat, my mom & grandma are CONSTANTLY saying, "You're eating AGAIN?" or "How can you STILL be hungry?" Well I'm pregnant! Duh. And I haven't gained not one pound since being pregnant, so I think I can eat whatever I want!"
"Are you sure your husband is the father?" No you idiot, I just want to have anyone's kid! The conception date is right along with the week of us just having sex constantly ... but NO ... He couldn't possibly be the dad.
"Are you getting your tubes tied? You've been pregnant forever."
From the baby's father: "You chose to keep it?"
"Hope you like getting your sleep now. You'll never have a night to sleep again" No shit. I've raised two of my three dogs and they still don't let me sleep through the whole night. Not to mention wake me up at 5 a.m. everyday ritually.
"When people see me reading a book or just relaxing: "Oh you better get in all your reading now because in a few months you aren't going to be able to do that anymore.' "