Leave it to family members, strangers, and friends to pretty much ruin a woman's pregnancy with their insensitive comments. Seriously, what are some people thinking when they make these remarks and ask these questions of expectant moms? We have no idea but we've rounded up some doozies from the CafeMom community, anonymously of course, to marvel at the cluelessness all around ...
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Comments 411
A comment I got from my mother was "At least you didn't have an abortion".
When I told my dad I was pregnant (with my 1st) he said "how far along are you?" I stated that I found out about a week ago at16 weeks. He then went on to say "so...I guess you are to far along to do anything about it then?" The woman who got carded should take it as a compliment.
I heard of this woman who informed her co-workers that she was (unexpectedly, but happily) pregnant. Their response was something along the lines of you-are-crazy-for-keeping-it. They even signed her up for a support group for post-abortive mothers.
I got the teenage pregnancy one all the time...I was in my early 20's and had been married for 2 1/2 years at the time and had almost completed my bachelor degree program at the time my son decided to surprise us. The thing that got me was if I really was I teen mom, shouldn't you been trying to support me instead of running your mouth? Why not talk to teens that arent' mothers yet?
A close relative also had the nerve to mention the "it's still early" bit
I think it gets worse after though, at least for young mother. There was an employee at Walmart that would harrass me relentlessly (as well as other young mamas) every time I'd go with my son to the store, especially with my husband there, because she thought mothers unter the age of 30 were a detriment to society especially if the dads were expected to help with the baby....this happened 5 or 6 different times...it's been almost two years now and I haven't been back
Another thing to consider when making comments on quantity or spacing is that some people really do have trouble NOT getting pregnant. I've conceived twice now while on birth control of one form or another. It's definitely not as bad as being unable to conceive when you want a baby, but it still can be a hard thing and people never aknowledge that
I thought half of them were perfectly normal and good caring questions, such as "Are you breastfeeding?- why not?" "How far along are you? "even "Should you be eating that?" could be appropriate if it's someone close to you. WTF? Pregnanct women are a lot more sensitive than they were years ago. I could see some of them being actually really rude like "Is your husband the father" (who would ask that?) But really I hear so much that you don't have the older women giving advice like they used to, but on the other hand, you don't want to hear it.
When we told my mother in law we were having our first child (my husbands 3rd)...she looked me dead in the eyes and goes "Are you CRAZY?!".... that still hurts....my first child and that was what I got....it stung.