Plenty of couples who can't conceive naturally seek the help of IVF in order to fulfill their dreams of having children, but one gay couple in London had anything but a smooth experience after a huge mix-up at the largest sperm bank in Britain.
They purposely went back to the same facility when they were ready for their second child, because they wanted to use the same sperm donor they had used with their first baby so their kids would be biological siblings. However, they were ultimately given sperm from the wrong donor, which resulted in their second child being born a different race from the rest of the family. And perhaps the worst part of this story is that they didn't realize the mistake until after the baby was born.
OMG. Can you even begin to imagine the feelings of sheer shock and confusion this poor couple had after their newborn arrived? They must have thought they were in the middle of a bad dream they'd eventually wake up from.
I can remember being so attached to my son while I was pregnant with him. For nine months, I dreamed of what he would look like, and whether he would more closely resemble me or my husband. And while you can never totally predict how your child's appearance, you do have basic physical characteristics to go on. And I'm sure this couple expected their second child to look a lot like their first -- until the baby was born.
While I'm sure they love their new baby very much, they still have to feel like they were cheated out of the child they'd dreamed of. And unfortunately, it's not like the mix-up is one that is easy to ignore. Every time they look at the differences between their two kids, they'll be reminded of the baby they lost -- the one that they believed to be expecting all along, but never really had in the first place. Something tells me this isn't one of those scenarios you can just magically "get over."
But hopefully they'll eventually find peace and realize that even though things don't always work out the way we expect, they happen the way they're supposed to. And their baby was obviously meant to be, regardless of race.
Do you have children who are of different races, or do you know anyone who does?
Image via Daquella manera/Flickr
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Comments 428
They didn't 'lose' a baby... they lost a concept. ANY parent could make this claim... "I dreamed of a little boy but the u/s was wrong and I had a girl." "I dreamed of a blue-eyed daughter and got brown eyes instead." Or (and this one applies to me): "I dreamed of a little girlie-girl to take shopping and got two tomboys instead!" Yes, the sperm bank was irresponsible and this kind of mixup should not happen. That being said, they have a baby... no one gets a guarantee of what baby they will get. Babies can appear to be of a different race even just based on recessive genes. My kids are biracial (I'm white, dh is south asian) and although the differences aren't this dramatic, one of them looks significantly more caucasian than the other two. I'm sure dh was surprised when our firstborn had pale, rosy skin and blue eyes... but he got over it. At age ten, that child has light hazel eyes and freckles, as opposed to the two girls who have olive skin and dark brown eyes. It doesn't matter. After this couple get over being surprised, hopefully they can get that it just doesn't matter and they can celebrate the unique circumstances of this baby joining their family.
My husband is 1/2 mexican, 1/2 norwegian and I am 1/4 (if not more) Native American. When our now 3yo was born he was pretty dark, His mother (full norwegian) looked at him and actually asked if he was going to lighten up. My mother (1/2 native) almost punched her in the face. This was the woman's first grandchild!!! I was soooo p*ssed but apparently my mother was more so, making comments for the next couple hours about my husband not being exactly white and other not so nice things. While he didnt really lighten up and has brown eyes for now his hair is pretty blonde. Our second child came out with bright blonde hair blue eyes and very fair skin(we joke he is allergic to the sun) and I honestly think she likes him better. Some people should be smacked seriously.
Also remember, if a mixed race child or a child of different ethnicity from the parants is born when both parents are the same race, others will judge the family, especially the mother. It will be assumed she cheated on her husband.
Really??? I mean all that should matter is that the child is healthy!! I am bi-racial and my husband is White. When I gave birth to my boys they both came out fair skin, blue eyed, and with blonde hair. Now my dh was expecting them to have brown eyes and dark hair however we never thought of it as a bad thing. God gives us what he gives us.
who the hell cares? are you gonna love your kid any less because its a different race?