When I was pregnant (the first time at age 32; the second at 34), my doctors asked me if I wanted any prenatal genetic testing. They assured me that I was very low risk, but asked if I would consider terminating if the results showedsome sort of genetic issue.
Both times, I was appalled that they had the nerve to even ask if I would do such a thing. No matter what, I would love the child I was carrying. I was resolute that I would never terminate, so why would I test? I declined the offer.
It sounds naïve now. Thankfully, both girls were born healthy without incident.
But now, I'm 39 and if I were pregnant, I would definitely consider genetic testing -- not because I would love my baby any less but because I'm older. The difference between 33 and 39, doesn't feel very different. Hell, I still feel 25. But my body has lived the life span of a teenager since then. Yes, I’m in good health and yes, my pregnancies were easy and without incident but there is a higher risk now that my eggs are older too.
If I were pregnant with a child who would be born with a genetic disorder, it could mean that I would have to be her caregiver for her entire life. Would I be alive long enough to be sure that I could commit to that? This is an important thing to consider. It’s not just about what I want anymore.
If I were to have a beautiful child who was going to be born with a genetic disorder that would incur an exorbitant cost of medical treatment with no cure, could I afford the cost? Could I provide everything that this child would need or want from me, financially? Am I strong enough to be there emotionally? Could I be the mother this special child deserved and needed?
How would this affect my other children? I would have to consider how having a child with a genetic disorder such as Down Syndrome or Trisomy 18 would effect the care, time and mothering that I could give my other two children? How would it affect my marriage?
Did you have genetic testing done when you were pregnant? Why or why not?
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Comments 37
I had prenatal genetic testing with my first, and my doctors never even mentioned termination. I wanted to prepare myself in case my child had special needs. I would think that any mother would want to be as informed as possible about the challenges her new baby might face and take the time to inform and prepare herself for those challenges.
I think doctors ask if you would terminate not because they want to withhold any information if you were to want to, but so they can advise you. For some low risk women who would NOT terminate, the cost can be high enough to dissuade them from testing if the results wouldn't change their mind. I was only 23 when I got pregnant, and even though my risks were low and I am pro life, I had the testing done just so I would know. Knowledge is power.
Then she was born, a perfect little baby - with down syndrome. Flooded with questions and concerns, the only real answer we got was that she had an extra chromosone. Of course as a parent who has lived this for the last 5 years it makes complete sense to me, but at the time, I was furious that the doctors couldn't answer my question.
3 years later we were expecting again, this time around, we were practically FORCED to take genetic testing. Every doctor I saw couldn't understand why I didn't care about the results. Every doctor looked at me as if I was INSANE for refusing to take the tests. (and I had several OB's due to this very issue)
I'll put my bias on the table -- I'm pro-choice, but I had already made the choice to love and care for my child regardless of the outcome.
My middle kiddo, is 5 years old now. She goes to regular pre-school, on a big bus. She is within normal range. She just turned 5 in March. her developmental age is 4.5 years. Next year she will go to regular kindergarten, in the same school as her older sister. Which was my biggest concern -- ultimatly, what is her life going to be like, and it's the ONE answer the doctors don't have.