When you find out you're pregnant, it can be such a joyous time in your life. You see the little blue line, the birds tweet, your mom cries, your husband rubs your belly, proud his little swimmers hit the jackpot. But sometimes, sometimes, it's a major freak-out moment filled with fear and dread and -- wait a minute -- who is the daddy?!
Well, one woman knows who the daddy is, but she doesn't really know who he is. You see, while moshing at a Megadeth/Motorhead show in Chicago, she met her soon-to-be baby daddy and the two had some instant attraction fueled by alcohol, Manic Panic, and the sweat from Lemmy's mutton chops. They took that passion from the mosh pit to the bathroom and a baby was made!
The woman didn't maintain contact with her "prince of darkness," so she posted on Craigslist to try to find the guy. Check out the ad:
Did we hook up at the Megadeth/Motorhead concert? - w4m - 28 (Aragon Ballroom).
Me: Blue hair, silver tube top, fishnets, Knee high black biker boots.
You: Red mohawk, black pentagram gauges, viper piercings.
I was grinding on you in the pit, then we went to the bathroom, and got f***ed up. You had a nice c**k and I was wasted so I let [you] raw dog it in the stall. You were really good and you had to gag me so I would make too much noise.
Anyway I'm pregnant. It's yours. contact me if you want to be part of your child's life.
Perhaps it's a big hoax -- the ad has since been removed -- but things like this happen all the time. Maybe she's bitter? She's probably in her "darkest hour" and is just "reaching out" so Mr. Mohawk lends a hand. (Dave Mustaine's lyrics can really translate to so many scenarios!) Maybe she just really needs to find this dude. Well, clearly she does, if it's true.
And if it is, she's smart for using the Internets to find her knight in shining piercings. Seems like they had a good time. And that baby ... one thing is certain: Just like Lemmy sings, this kid will be "born to raise hell."
Email firstname.lastname@example.org if you know this raw dog.
What do you think? True or a hoax? Would you ever take to the Internet to find someone ... particularly a man who got you pregnant?
Image via pasukaru76/Flickr