6 Things You Can Blame on Pregnancy Brain (and 6 You CAN'T)

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pregnantIn Australia, a woman who's being investigated for business corruption came up with a pretty creative excuse for her bad behavior -- pregnancy hormones. The details are complicated, but basically, according to an article in The Sydney Morning Herald, when she was backed in to a corner (her signature was on implicating documents), she pulled out what was supposed to be a get out of jail card of sorts -- she was pregnant.

''I was 8½ or nine months pregnant and in hindsight I don't think I was in any state of mind to be signing any documents, let alone setting up a company,'' she told the Independent Commission Against Corruption yesterday. I'm sorry, but that's a crock of an excuse if I've ever heard one, and insulting to pregnant women -- who can make plenty of important decisions, thank you very much -- to boot.

I'm not dismissing pregnancy brain, because I've felt its power. Seriously, my mind was often a muddle of mush, with emotions that fluctuated faster than I could even feel them. I'm still feeling its effects three years after my last child (it may be even worse now), but you can only blame so much on it. To put it in perspective, here are six things you can blame on pregnancy brain and six you can NOT. You know, in case you're pregnant and can't think these things through yourself.

1. Your husband eats the last Dove ice cream bar that you've been looking forward to all day.

Excusable: Melting down on the floor of the kitchen and sobbing hysterically until he goes and buys another box.

Inexcusable: Poisoning his dinner the next night.

2. You are feeling fat, ugly, and like you'll never be pretty again.

Excusable: Getting a drastic new hairdo and buying yourself pretty shoes and lipstick.

Inexcusable: Breaking every last mirror in your house and buying so many shoes and tubes of lipstick that you can't afford diapers.

3. You have trouble remembering things; even the most basic details seem to slip right through your mind.

Excusable: Going to the mall to shop and coming out a couple of hours later only to realize you have no idea where you parked.

Inexcusable: Going to the mall to shop and coming out a couple of hours later only to realize you left your toddler in the car.

4. Your mother-in-law makes a snide remark at dinner about the name you're planning to name your child.

Excusable: Texting your fury and a few choice names for your MIL to your best friend while in the kitchen getting dessert.

Inexcusable: Dumping dessert on said mother-in-law's head.

5. Someone who is obviously not pregnant (because he's a HE) takes the last stork parking space at the store, and you have to hoof it from BFE.

Excusable: Leaving a nasty, anonymous note on his windshield.

Inexcusable: Bashing in his windshield.

6. The 8,000th person has just touched your growing belly without asking and exclaimed that you're just HUGE.

Excusable: Glaring at her with daggers in your eyes.

Inexcusable: Finding an actual dagger and doing some damage with it.

What crazy things did you/do you blame on pregnancy brain?


Image via dizznbonn/Flickr

baby prep, emotions

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Jaded... JadedFaerie

I forgot so many things it was insane. I had one conversation with a person I'd met (I was about 31 weeks) and was asked my name and I'd forgotten it!

H.Unger H.Unger

I don't know. I had to really struggle doing my taxes and go back to it over an over while pregnant this year. I think late pregnancy could possibly make you make major finacial faux pas if you are not uber careful. It might be possible.

Green... GreenKnitMama

I forgot to put shoes on before leaving the house. It was incredibly embarrassing....my kids still tease me about it.

nonmember avatar Rissa

My roommate is currently pregnant and everytime she acts like a straight up b*tch, she blames it on her hormones. She once took all of the other roommates dirty dishes out of the sink (you know, where they go when the dishwasher is full, as it was) and put them on the stove, claiming that if we did not move them by the end of the night then she got to throw them all away. When faced with the reality of it's not her stuff and she can't throw our things away for no reason, she just blamed it all on her hormones. I understand being upset that the kitchen was a bit of a mess but she took it too far and then tried to cast off the blame onto her pregnancy. Plus, the best part was that she was only two months pregnant and going on and on about how awful the hormones were hitting her.

amber... amberdotsmom

Not only do I disagree with the Inexcusable solution to #4; I think you should sometimes be able to do that even if you're not pregnant  (at least in my fantasy's)

Stacey. Stacey.

I didnt blame anything on pregnancy brain. I had to work until the day before I gave birth, my boss would not have accepted any excuses. I really didnt notice anything different about my ability to think clearly, if anything being pregnant made me think more clearly as I thought about the future implications of all my decisions.

Leah Worrell

amberdotsmom: i LOVE the way u think!!! lol i agree 100% and would jump up this very second if i was presented with the oppertunity to do this to my "monster in law"!! pregnant or not as a matter of fact! and deserve every lastvbit of it the wicked bitch would! lol

Melis... Melissa1508

Bahahaha!  I love number one.  I totally melted down on my husband the other day because he ate the last two Peeps that I had been lusting over all day.  I also went to work with my pants on inside out and had a male coworker point it out.  That was awesome.  ;)

Bknot... Bknotnobody

I'd forget to close the washing machine lid, while starting a load. I even melted down when I spilled salt. Ah I don't miss pregnancy. Lol.

mik1of3 mik1of3

I got into an argument with a customer I thought was trying to short change me.  It ended with one of my employees (I was the manager) pushing me into my office when I burst into tears and apologizing to the customer.


Luckily for me, his wife was pregnant, too...and he didn't get all offended.  The next day, in fact, he and his wife brought me a bouquet of flowers to show there was no hard feelings.  I was SO embarrassed.


embarrassed


 

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