6 Things You Can Blame on Pregnancy Brain (and 6 You CAN'T)

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pregnantIn Australia, a woman who's being investigated for business corruption came up with a pretty creative excuse for her bad behavior -- pregnancy hormones. The details are complicated, but basically, according to an article in The Sydney Morning Herald, when she was backed in to a corner (her signature was on implicating documents), she pulled out what was supposed to be a get out of jail card of sorts -- she was pregnant.

''I was 8½ or nine months pregnant and in hindsight I don't think I was in any state of mind to be signing any documents, let alone setting up a company,'' she told the Independent Commission Against Corruption yesterday. I'm sorry, but that's a crock of an excuse if I've ever heard one, and insulting to pregnant women -- who can make plenty of important decisions, thank you very much -- to boot.

I'm not dismissing pregnancy brain, because I've felt its power. Seriously, my mind was often a muddle of mush, with emotions that fluctuated faster than I could even feel them. I'm still feeling its effects three years after my last child (it may be even worse now), but you can only blame so much on it. To put it in perspective, here are six things you can blame on pregnancy brain and six you can NOT. You know, in case you're pregnant and can't think these things through yourself.

1. Your husband eats the last Dove ice cream bar that you've been looking forward to all day.

Excusable: Melting down on the floor of the kitchen and sobbing hysterically until he goes and buys another box.

Inexcusable: Poisoning his dinner the next night.

2. You are feeling fat, ugly, and like you'll never be pretty again.

Excusable: Getting a drastic new hairdo and buying yourself pretty shoes and lipstick.

Inexcusable: Breaking every last mirror in your house and buying so many shoes and tubes of lipstick that you can't afford diapers.

3. You have trouble remembering things; even the most basic details seem to slip right through your mind.

Excusable: Going to the mall to shop and coming out a couple of hours later only to realize you have no idea where you parked.

Inexcusable: Going to the mall to shop and coming out a couple of hours later only to realize you left your toddler in the car.

4. Your mother-in-law makes a snide remark at dinner about the name you're planning to name your child.

Excusable: Texting your fury and a few choice names for your MIL to your best friend while in the kitchen getting dessert.

Inexcusable: Dumping dessert on said mother-in-law's head.

5. Someone who is obviously not pregnant (because he's a HE) takes the last stork parking space at the store, and you have to hoof it from BFE.

Excusable: Leaving a nasty, anonymous note on his windshield.

Inexcusable: Bashing in his windshield.

6. The 8,000th person has just touched your growing belly without asking and exclaimed that you're just HUGE.

Excusable: Glaring at her with daggers in your eyes.

Inexcusable: Finding an actual dagger and doing some damage with it.

What crazy things did you/do you blame on pregnancy brain?


Image via dizznbonn/Flickr

baby prep, emotions