Choosing the Sex of Your Child

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choosing the sex of your child

Photo by jencalkins

I really wanted to have a little girl. With our first baby, when we found out the sex, I was utterly disappointed to learn it was a boy. Oddly shocked, too, although of course the odds were 50/50, as they always are. It took me several days to rebound, but I did. And when our son was born it no longer mattered a bit -- I loved him with my whole heart. Would I have been interested in picking the sex? I don't know, we didn't go down that road. But many mamas do.

I read an article on Babble recently about healthy moms- and dads-to-be willingly participating in procedures like IVF in tandem with PGD (pre-implantation genetic determination) and MicroSort, the spinning of sperm, in order to pre-determine the sex of their child. And these elective procedures come with a hefty price tag, which just goes to show you how important it is to these parents to have one sex over the other.

Just why is it so important? Dr. Daniel Potter, author of the new book Family Balancing: How to Choose the Gender of Your Next Child, explains it this way in the article:

"For a high percentage of women, when they're growing up, they have a lot of thoughts about parenting and what they're going to be like. The baby they see in that image, often of a little girl, this baby, this image in their mind, lives in their subconscious just like a human child. When you have to let go of that image, that dream, it is a mourning process."

Pretty interesting stuff. Sometimes it's just about having a certain equitable vision of your family, too -- a mom and dad have three girls, but they'd also like to have the experience of raising a boy.

Of course there are less scientific, less expensive ways of trying for one sex over the other, too -- when to have sex, position, etc. One resource that focuses on the timing issue is the decades-old book (recently updated), How to Choose the Sex of Your Baby, by Dr. Landrum Shettles.

Moms around here are interested in the idea of gender selection, too -- if you have questions or are in the process of trying to conceive a boy or a girl, connect with TTC a boy/girl -- methods and myths or Choose the sex of your next baby.

What about you? Were you attached to the idea of having one sex over the other? Did things turn out the way you hoped they would?



boy or girl

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kelly... kellybelly7570

If i had the money, i'd choose the sex of my next baby in a heartbeat.   I know it's probably "wrong" but i have a strong gender preference.    It means a lot to me.   But, in the end, I'm grateful to have a healthy baby!

Mama0... Mama0f3grlz

I wanted a son badly but it just wasn't in my cards. I had three girls and each time we found out the sex, my husband almost died of disapointment. I wasn't prepared to face that again so I had my tubes tied after my third daughter. I don't know, choosing the sex seems kind of selfish to me. I don't like getting too involved in natural processes. Maybe I'll be blessed with a grandson, who knows.

beach... beachmamaof2

I wanted a boy very badly and we ended up with two BEAUTIFUL girls - my fiance is thrilled with his princess' but I can't help still wanting a boy too! =)

3peas... 3peasinthepod

I think it's horrible.  I understand wanting a particular gender of child, but to actually start playing around with this kind of stuff ...it's just wrong.  This is just my opinion.


As a side note, I did NOT want a son.  My second child was a boy and I was so upset.  He is the joy of my life though and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Star76 Star76

Interesting.  I personally think it shows a lot about our desperate need for control and this illusion we've created around parenting. 

kelly611 kelly611

hmmm daniel potter? is he realated to harry lol

litst... litstargazer

I feel blessed to have a boy & a girl.  I am expecting my 3rd and am just praying for another healthy child.  I did nothing to plan or try for one sex over the other, I never had a desire for a girl more then a boy or anything like that. I think that science is wonderful for helping people become pregnant but then adding gender selection to that just doesn't seem right to  me.

Pollymom Pollymom

With my first baby, I really wanted a boy and was delighted to have my son. With this second pregnancy, I'm kinda hoping for another boy, but my odds are 50/50....I would just let nature take it's course, I don't think I'd ever (even if I had tons of money) go the clinical way of choosing a gender.

Katie... KatieCrandall

If I were in my sister's shoes (3 boys and #4 due in two weeks), I'd maybe be interested, as I want children of both sexes...but I do think that science can be a little TOO much sometimes.

lipst... lipstickclouds

I wouldn't want to choose or have control over that, having a child is about their life and them becoming who they are, not what I want and my expectations.. I can't imagine having been dissapointed either way.

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