Photo by jencalkins
I really wanted to have a little girl. With our first baby, when we found out the sex, I was utterly disappointed to learn it was a boy. Oddly shocked, too, although of course the odds were 50/50, as they always are. It took me several days to rebound, but I did. And when our son was born it no longer mattered a bit -- I loved him with my whole heart. Would I have been interested in picking the sex? I don't know, we didn't go down that road. But many mamas do.
I read an article on Babble recently about healthy moms- and dads-to-be willingly participating in procedures like IVF in tandem with PGD (pre-implantation genetic determination) and MicroSort, the spinning of sperm, in order to pre-determine the sex of their child. And these elective procedures come with a hefty price tag, which just goes to show you how important it is to these parents to have one sex over the other.
Just why is it so important? Dr. Daniel Potter, author of the new book Family Balancing: How to Choose the Gender of Your Next Child, explains it this way in the article:
"For a high percentage of women, when they're growing up, they have a lot of thoughts about parenting and what they're going to be like. The baby they see in that image, often of a little girl, this baby, this image in their mind, lives in their subconscious just like a human child. When you have to let go of that image, that dream, it is a mourning process."
Pretty interesting stuff. Sometimes it's just about having a certain equitable vision of your family, too -- a mom and dad have three girls, but they'd also like to have the experience of raising a boy.
Of course there are less scientific, less expensive ways of trying for one sex over the other, too -- when to have sex, position, etc. One resource that focuses on the timing issue is the decades-old book (recently updated), How to Choose the Sex of Your Baby, by Dr. Landrum Shettles.
Moms around here are interested in the idea of gender selection, too -- if you have questions or are in the process of trying to conceive a boy or a girl, connect with TTC a boy/girl -- methods and myths or Choose the sex of your next baby.
What about you? Were you attached to the idea of having one sex over the other? Did things turn out the way you hoped they would?