5 Reasons I'm Already a Terrible Mom

pregnantThe contrast in the idea of the kind of pregnant woman I thought I was going to be and the kind of pregnant woman I actually am is stark. I used to envision myself as the type of lady who would do yoga nine times a day, who wouldn't come within a four-mile radius of a bottle of Windex, and who would drink green juices every morning. (I even bought the juicer.)

But shortly after I got pregnant, reality set in. And reality, my reality at least, simply isn't conducive to this type of behavior. My reality involves a snooze button, an obnoxious train ride twice a day, a full-time job, and a dusty apartment that often needs Swiffering. Yoga classes and green juices rarely, if ever, make their way into my life.

My vision wound up just being a fantasy. And that's okay. I hope. 'Cause I'm doing a whole mess of things I never thought I'd do when pregnant -- things that might, according to some, already make me a bad mom.

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Things like this:

I sit in front of a computer or laptop approximately 700 hours a day. Yay, radiation! I've managed to stay away from X-rays and (usually) microwaves, but the computer thing is just unavoidable. There isn't hard research that says that my baby is being beamed with super carcinogenic rays or anything, but common sense tells me that it can't possibly be good.

I use Windex. There, I said it. I've managed to make the transition to all other natural cleaning products, but Windex is the one I'm having the most difficulty parting with. It makes everything so shiny. It's a fact. There isn't a product out there that does what Windex does (I'm looking at you, Method glass cleaner). And until I can actually hold my child, I'm pretty sure I'll be holding a bottle of Windex.

I stress out. This one is unavoidable, but in my fantasy, Earthy, Natural Pregnant Nicole Fabian-Weber was chronically stress free. And, randomly, always wearing white, flowy things. I try to keep frustrations and stress to a minimum (and yoga would probably help), but it isn't always easy. And I'm a little nervous it's messing up my baby.

I occasionally have a little coffee. Even though I asked my doctor and she it was okay in small amounts, I really wanted to try to go the entire nine months sans caffeine. But, some days I just can't, and poof, a few splashes of regular wind up in my decaf.

I've highlighted my hair. This is the one that I feel most guilty about (and then the guilt turns into stress, etc. etc.). Again, I asked my OBGYN if it was cool and she said it was (highlights, no bleach), so of course I went for it. Sometimes it makes me sad that I didn't have the will power to be the au naturel version of myself who just went with her brown hair the entire time. But then I look in the mirror. And all I can see are my roots. And roots stress me out.

Were/are you the kind of pregnant women you thought you'd be? Were/are you more or less natural than you expected?

 

Image via benklocek/Flickr

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