Going to an OB/GYN or a midwife is rarely a whole lot of fun for a pregnant woman. At best, we are uncomfortable and bloated and STILL pregnant, and at worst, we are having our inner body probed and prodded while we feel pretty unattractive.
Now, yes, of course, pregnancy is a beautiful thing and we are lucky to experience it and all that. But wow. It can also just be brutally humiliating, disgusting, and sometimes even terrifying.
With that in mind, The Stir has gathered 11 true humiliating and funny stories from moms across the country (identified only by their first initial) proving you aren't alone. Here they are:
- M's tale of bad bedside manner: I went to my doctor for my first check-up and he didn't even look at me. Zero eye contact. He just stared at his computer the entire time I was in the room while asking me questions that seemed like they were from a textbook. Then he asked me if I was sexually active. I was eight weeks pregnant. Clearly he wasn't a math major. I switched doctors.
- S needs a new doctor now: Just after my C-section delivery, I was taken in to have my tubes tied. The doctor said that it's standard to have patients wait at least an hour but I looked OK. As I was given the medications, I heard the doctor say, "Come on ... we need to make this a quick one because I need to go home to take my dog out." If I could have gotten off the table, I would have.
- E's long wait: Once I had an appointment at 1:30 and they finally called me in at 4:45. It was so OBNOXIOUS! The time when I had that 1:30 appointment, they told me that she has just gotten back from delivering a baby and that she would see me shortly. Then I heard the receptionist on the phone with her asking when she would be back .... Then (here's the kicker) the crazy receptionist walked around the waiting room handing out cookies while singing. About two hours later, the doc walked in still in her scrubs. I really wanted to leave when she ran late, but it was such an ordeal to get an appointment and get a sitter for my older child, so I sat. And sat. And sat.
- S's upchuck humiliation: I had a sudden wave of pregnancy nausea, leaned over the edge of the exam table, and vomited on the floor at about four months along, liberally splashing my OB in the process. She took it really well but I was mortified.
- A's "pain" shame: My OB clearly had issues with the idea of home birth and midwife care, and made that clear with a variety of snarky comments at each appointment. On my last appointment (at five months along), she asked again if I was sure about home birth. When I replied in the affirmative, she replied, "Fine then, I hope you enjoy excruciating pain." Whatever. My home birth rocked.
- M's inappropriate doctor: At my six-week OB check-up, she asked if I was breastfeeding and I said yes. She said it must be weird. "One minute your breasts are a sexual organ and then they are used to feed your baby." Nice.
- S was left behind: I went in for a non-stress test. They hooked me up to the machine and said they would be back in 10 minutes. Forty minutes later I disconnected myself and went out to look for somebody. They all were eating lunch in the break room and completely forgot about me.
- E's baby startle moment: Once when I went in and my baby wasn't active enough for them, the nurse pulled out this buzzer and without even warning me buzzed it right on my belly. The poor little thing jumped a mile in my belly! I was so angry!
- A's hot doctor: The resident who helped do my C-section was INSANELY hot. I just wanted to cringe when he'd come in to check on me all gross and bloated. If a hot man is going to come wake me up and check out my lady business, I would like it to be under much sexier circumstances.
- S's fat shaming doctor: The only male doctor in my practice said something like, "Wow ... It must be tough being pregnant during the holidays. But the party's over now, right?" I had gained something like 7 pounds between my December and January appointments. Jerk.
- R's placenta privacy issue: After my son was born, my midwife held up my placenta and people took pictures of it. I guess 10-pound babies have huge placentas. After everything that goes on in childbirth, you'd think that wouldn't be embarrassing, but for some reason it was. Like, put down my placenta!!
What is your OB/GYN horror story?
Image via hansvandenberg30/Flickr