10 Questions You Should Ask Yourself Before Having Kids

LOL 55

screaming babyThere is plenty of sunshine and roses that comes with parenthood, but as any parent with an ounce of honesty will tell you, it's also the toughest gig you'll ever have. Sure, all of those family pictures your friends post on Facebook look like the stuff of fairy tales, but behind every shining little face is the truth: They will change your lives in ways you could never imagine, and not all of those ways are good.

So while clocks may be ticking and ovaries are aching for a little babe, it's best that people go into parenthood with their eyes wide open. Because the fact is not everyone can handle it nor should they attempt to do so. For some, it's just not the right time in their life, and waiting is a better option. For others, it should probably just be a big permanent never. To determine how prepared you are to become a parent, here are 10 very important questions you should ask yourself before becoming one:

1.  Do you like to sleep in?

If your answer is yes, consider getting a gerbil. If no, continue to the next question.

2. Are you totally cool with someone throwing up all over you? Repeatedly?

If yes, then I question your sanity for the job. If no, don't worry, you'll get used to it.

3.  Can you go three days without sleep and still drive a car?

If you answered no, make sure you live by a reliable means of public transportation before getting pregnant. If yes, I want whatever it is you've got.

4.  Do you require privacy to do your business in the bathroom?

If yes, prepare for problems, and invest in a good laxative.

5. Are you prepared to say goodbye to the sound of yourself thinking for at least the next 18 years?

If no, don't worry, you will quickly forget that such a sound even existed. There are plenty of new and unusual sounds that will take its place (Mommmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyy!).

6. Do you have a whole list of things you'll NEVER do as a parent? Do you hate to be wrong?

If yes to both, start by ripping that list up right now.  

7. Do you love input from strangers on things that are none of their business and adore being judged for pretty much every move you make?

If no, proceed with caution and start practicing deep breathing techniques.

8. Can you clean up puke, change 10 crib sheets, make dinner, and help someone do homework while running a fever of 103?

Okay, no one thinks they can.

9. Do you like to fly on airplanes and eat in restaurants without the burning eyes of hatred from hundreds of glaring strangers searing into your skin?

If yes, think of adopting a 17-year-old. People usually start to be kinder to kids in public around that age.

10.  Are you good at scraping things off of floors -- like oh, say ... your PRIDE?

This is pretty much the biggest deal breaker. Your personal pride all but evaporates it comes to leaking breasts, public potty accidents, and children who blurt out exactly the wrong thing at the wrong time. The best you can do is scrape up the scraps and carry on.

Bonus question: Are you prepared for the most rewarding and amazing roller coaster ride of your life that's worth any of the hard stuff?

If yes, then get to procreating, because the rest of it doesn't really matter in the scheme of things.

More from The Stir:

5 Ways to Get the Most From Your Baby

The 3 Rudest Things People Do to Pregnant Women

5 Totally Weird Pregnancy Symptoms

What questions would you add to this list that people should ask themselves before becoming parents?


Image via Upsilon Andromedae/Flickr


a mom's life, baby prep, motherhood

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stepm... stepmomc01

Yes I would love to get pregnant, but it is very hard considering that my step daughter gives me so much crap. She literally hates me. She causes my husband and I to get into ALL the time. I do want a baby of my own but its kind of hard with a four year old who makes your life a living hell. I love her, show her that I love her, but it does not help.

nonmember avatar mamaleigh

@stepmomc01: Your stepdaughter is FOUR YEARS OLD. She's practically still a baby. She's not "giving you crap". She's behaving like a 4 year old. And if she's only four and her parents are no longer together, she may be going from one house to another, which is really hard. And if she's living with you, then something happened that separated her from her mother. My Lord, Woman, grow a heart. Why don't you stop trying to show her you "love" her and just let her be? What could you possibly be getting into it with her father over? Maybe he's right, maybe you're a witch to his kid, maybe you should step back and realize that your role is MINOR.

Kimbyann Kimbyann

Stepmom: When shes older she will appreciate the effort you put in.

Fonder Fonder

Do you mind not going out as much as you want?

emmas... emmasmama2007

I think things worth actually asking are about being financially ready, and ready to put another life before your own, and put other things on hold.

nonmember avatar Cee

...because all women that want to be mothers hate sleeping, love vomit baths, dangerous sleep driving, want to raise loud brats that will scream everywhere public and just want to give up every aspect of their life to their children...

What a woe is mom article.
If mothers stopped being so child centric, they would be much happier.

easun... easunshine

Cee you took the BLOG post way too seriously.



I love sleeping in. I still do, too! As do my kids. :)

jalaz77 jalaz77

Haha this is nice!!

nonmember avatar guest

to LucyCarrington: Oh yeah, that's what makes you a good mom. Being MARRIED.

femal... femaleMIKE

@stepmom01, mama leigh is kind of right.


except, your role is MAJOR.  i deal with my preschool/toddler aged neices/nephews/cousins/friends and find that at this age, they are very hard.  I learned that hte temper tantrums continue but that its normal and your probably not doing anything wrong. 


much luck

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