I love being black. I do. I thank God for all of my cultural idiosyncrasies and inherent Africanisms. I’m proud of who I am and the people I come from. It’s an honor to be born into a race of folks whose creativity and intellect and power helped shape the world as we know it.
But that being said, I can’t hop on this bandwagon that homebirth brings black women closer to our African heritage. I’ll immerse myself in a native language, I’ll shell out a few grand to fly to the mother continent and trace my Guinean roots. Heck, I’ve already dedicated thousands of dollars and thousands more hours studying our history for a master’s degree in African-American studies.
But if and when I ever find myself pregnant again, I’ll have my baby in a hospital, thank you very much. If something goes haywire — Lord forbid — I want all the bells and whistles of modern science by my side to save me or my child.
The beautiful experience, for me, has been raising my firstborn. Having her was just an ends to a means. So when I went into labor, I wasn’t expecting a fluffy, ethereal transition from big-bellied pregnant woman to newborn-cuddling mother like the ladies in the homebirth video suggest. I didn’t want to commune with the birthing process or revel in the sensation of throbbing contractions. I just wanted to pop that bad boy (well, actually girl) out and get it over with.
I agree that we come from a society that likes to overtreat and overmedicate us for every bitty thing. But most of Black women’s issues lie not in the hospitalization during labor, but the health risks we suffer leading up to childbirth. Our foremothers may have been able to stretch out in their homes with a supportive doula by their sides, but they also weren’t battling external stressors like money and relationships and health care and family medical leave and jobs and transportation issues. It was a different, simpler world.
I’m not knocking natural birth. I had my daughter naturally, though I had her in a delivery room, not in the comforts of our house. I didn’t pop so much as a Tylenol before she made her grand debut. That was always the plan, way before I went into labor.
But Lord have mercy, by the time we were in the car and my mother was driving like one of the Dukes of Hazzard through the city and I started getting that feeling like I needed to bear down and we finally pulled up in front of the ER and they plopped me into a wheelchair, all I could say was one word: medicine.
That’s right, dammit. I gave up on the notion to be natural. More than 16 hours of contractions pimp slapped my lofty idea of an unmedicated birth right down the tubes.
Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, I was too far along to get any kind of pain relief. Miss Almost Born was crowning even as I laid down on the delivery table, so much so that it only took three pushes in 15 minutes to bring her brand new cuteness out into the world. She was healthy, she was safe, and she was perfect.
It could’ve been different. Complications crop up all the time in the natural process of having a child. And though I don’t discredit the wisdom and ability of a doula to do what a doula does or a midwife to do what a midwife does, folks go to medical school for a reason and learn things you and I and madame doula and midwife wouldn’t begin to know because that’s not our training.
When it comes to bringing my baby into this side of life, I want it done as safely as possible. The moments when things go wrong are precious. I want someone there who knows how to handle them. Like right there. In the room, not a hop-in-the-car or cab ride away. I can’t think of a better way to honor the ancestors than to bring a healthy great-grandchild out to live the legacy.
So sisters, I know there’s a trend in the natural childbirth revolution among black women choosing to have their kids as far away from hospitals as possible. I’m usually I’m on board with any movement that brings us closer to our roots. But this is one I’m going to have to pass on. For my own peace of mind and the safety of my yet-born, not-even-conceived child.
Would you consider having a natural childbirth at home?
Image via cheriejoyful/Flickr
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Comments 23
I agree with you. Homebirth is not something I'd ever choose for myself. More power to anyone who does choose it. The only thing that bothers me is all the blathering on about how we don't trust our bodies, and we are being brainwashed by OBs, blah, blah, blah. I trust my body just fine, thankyouverymuch. I also trust my doctor and modern medicine to be there *just in case*. I wouldn't take any unecessary chances with my or my baby's health just to jump on to a crunchy trend.
I often wonder what a woman 100 years or so ago would have chosen if she'd had a choice in the first place.
My mom came from another country where home births were regular. She literally witnessed a preist taking her baby sister from her house in a box after she died from birth complications a few days later. She was and still is traumatized by it - other than those details she won't talk about it. My grandmother-in-law (from the same country) also died during child birth and her husband died a few months later of heart complications which left my mother-in-law and her siblings orphans. And recently, my sister's friend (here in the US) had a natural birth, by choice, at home and the baby died.
So I'll take modern medicine. I've seen alot of water home births on you tube and I'd love to do it but for the sake of my baby I'll put my preferences and wants aside.
"It was a different, simpler world." Yes if dysentery, pestilence, infection, starvation, aggressive tribes who attacked small hamlets to sell survivors into slaver, farming, blight... There lives were simple and stress free I agree. It would be nice if hospitals included birthing centers and supported natural child birth but a health pregnancy can end in a safe home birth. The US has one of the highest infant and mother mortality rates in the developed world, due in no small part to infections that you can only get in a hospital.
I would love to have a natural homebirth, and for my next, I plan to! I don't think it has anything to do with bringing you closer to cultural roots, or anything like that. I think where and how you choose to have your child is a deeply personal decision based on what makes you feel the best. For me, hospitals cause immediate deep feelings of anxiety, which will cause me to suck my child back inside faster then a vacume, and I will stop labor immediatly (I can't even pee in a hospital, even if I have to go really bad!) and I had my son in a midwives center, but the truck drive stalled my labor, I had been having steady contractions at home, one every 2 min by the time we left, after five minutes in the truck, they had stopped. I walked around outside at the center for 30 min, and started back up again regular as clockwork after I had relaxed! For me, staying home is going to be a choice based on what makes me comfortable and makes it easiest to bring my child into the world. As it should be for everywoman, regardless of where they are most comfortable!