Do you know the real reason so many moms are staying home for a quiet New Year’s Eve? It’s not because they are “too tired” or “don’t have babysitters." It's because they're at home, gettin’ some. Research shows it's true: 9 percent of conception in the United States takes place in December, specifically between Christmas and New Years.
It makes sense -- there's drinking, holiday joy, and hopefulness. And because it's cold and flu and sinus season, more people are taking antibiotics, which can render birth control useless. Of course we all get pregnant in December.
But, take it from me, December is not the month you want to conceive.
At some point in the next few days you will toast the New Year, likely with booze. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with that for you, or baby-to-maybe-be, when you find out you are indeed pregnant, the mother guilt will immediately kick in and it will plant itself firmly in the back of your mind every time you have to take a test. “But I got smashed the next day” -- it haunted me. I was really smashed through the whole thing, hence the conceiving. It caused me stress is all I’m saying.
Then, you will have gained some weight -- but won’t be showing -- right around the time that you can start to peel off the layers and wear cute spring clothes. While everyone is pulling out their sundresses you will just look fat. Not cute and pregnant, just like you gained weight and shouldn’t be wearing those pants anymore. Annoying.
Also, everyone does everything in the spring! Weddings, graduations, showers, Easter, St Patrick’s Day -- and you won’t be able to drink. Or likely eat. Or, in my case, dance. During my pregnancy, all I wanted to eat was fruit and bagels -- what a waste! Who wants to go to fancy wedding and not eat or drink. And once my center of gravity moved I no longer knew how to dance, and my guy only dances at wedding so it is usually my only chance. Your friends should really postpone their life events until you have delivered but they won’t. Something about a deposit, yada yada.
And the worst of it, you will be pregnant for the whole summer -- the entire thing. And you will be in your last trimester so you will be hot and uncomfortable times 10. Did you know that when you are pregnant in the summer the summer takes 3 times as long? And that you will have no choice but to get in a bathing suit because you will be so hot and swollen that floating is the only joy you will feel. And you can’t eat hot dogs or go to outdoor concerts -- which is just a slap in the face really.
So beware this New Year’s Eve. Or be whatever you want to be, really. The upside is that the baby comes in the fall and the weather is perfect and you get to wear him/her and all their astonishing warmth to fall festivals and apple picking and you can throw a sweater on to hide your body while you get back to something that resembles normal and fall baby clothes are so cute. Oh and they will be too little to fuss about their Halloween costume! Fall is a good time to have a baby.
So be warned. I am going out this year. And not drinking or taking antibiotic. Been there, done that!
Did you get pregnant in December? Would you do it again?
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