Pregnancy. It's the most joyful time in a woman's life ... or is it?
While growing a new life inside of you is easily one of the most miraculous things a woman can experience, there are an awful lot of weird things that go along with it.
These are the kind of things I've never seen in any of my pregnancy handbooks, but through word-of-blog, I learned that I was not the only one.
So here you have it: five of the most horrifying pregnancy symptoms you'll never hear about.
- Nonstop Farting. There's nothing less elegant than realizing that you cannot walk 10 feet without ripping a fart any teenage boy would be proud of. Sure, it's completely normal, but it's also completely embarrassing.
- Uncontrollable Peeing. Who doesn't enjoy a good belly laugh? (Answer: No one) Problem is, once you're with child, those belly laughs come with an unexpected and horrifying side effect -- peeing your pants. I went to the OB unit not once, but TWICE, certain my water had broken. Nope. Just peed myself. Talk about shameful.
- Letting Your Inner Bitch Shine Through. I'm not a particularly angry person. Honestly, now, I let most things go. However, the moment, I am with fetus, everything from the annoying customer service rep who dared talk down to me to the woman with 600 coupons in front of me at the supermarket, is subject to my wrath. I will shake with anger, furious at the tiniest slight, the moment I am with child.
- Losing Your Mind. Losing Your Mind. I can't exactly claim to be the smartest woman on the planet. Or I could, but it would be a lie. But the moment I am carrying a fetus, my memory disappears along with my waistline and ability to walk five feet without farting so loudly that people stare. It's...it's embarrassing. I have to carry a notebook around and take notes on everything from what I need from the store to what my middle name is - just in case someone wants to know.
- A "Pregnant" Husband. Each time I was gestating, my husband, well, HE got pregnant too. He had a sympathetic pregnancy, also known as "couvade syndrome." It got pretty annoying to balance our hormonal mood swings so that we didn't end up killing each other over who ate the last donut. Which, I'm not ashamed to say, nearly happened more than once.
So dish, what other horrifying pregnancy symptoms did you experience?
Image via lizdavenportcreative/Flickr