Pregnancy. It's the most joyful time in a woman's life ... or is it?
While growing a new life inside of you is easily one of the most miraculous things a woman can experience, there are an awful lot of weird things that go along with it.
These are the kind of things I've never seen in any of my pregnancy handbooks, but through word-of-blog, I learned that I was not the only one.
So here you have it: five of the most horrifying pregnancy symptoms you'll never hear about.
- Nonstop Farting. There's nothing less elegant than realizing that you cannot walk 10 feet without ripping a fart any teenage boy would be proud of. Sure, it's completely normal, but it's also completely embarrassing.
- Uncontrollable Peeing. Who doesn't enjoy a good belly laugh? (Answer: No one) Problem is, once you're with child, those belly laughs come with an unexpected and horrifying side effect -- peeing your pants. I went to the OB unit not once, but TWICE, certain my water had broken. Nope. Just peed myself. Talk about shameful.
- Letting Your Inner Bitch Shine Through. I'm not a particularly angry person. Honestly, now, I let most things go. However, the moment, I am with fetus, everything from the annoying customer service rep who dared talk down to me to the woman with 600 coupons in front of me at the supermarket, is subject to my wrath. I will shake with anger, furious at the tiniest slight, the moment I am with child.
- Losing Your Mind. Losing Your Mind. I can't exactly claim to be the smartest woman on the planet. Or I could, but it would be a lie. But the moment I am carrying a fetus, my memory disappears along with my waistline and ability to walk five feet without farting so loudly that people stare. It's...it's embarrassing. I have to carry a notebook around and take notes on everything from what I need from the store to what my middle name is - just in case someone wants to know.
- A "Pregnant" Husband. Each time I was gestating, my husband, well, HE got pregnant too. He had a sympathetic pregnancy, also known as "couvade syndrome." It got pretty annoying to balance our hormonal mood swings so that we didn't end up killing each other over who ate the last donut. Which, I'm not ashamed to say, nearly happened more than once.
So dish, what other horrifying pregnancy symptoms did you experience?
Image via lizdavenportcreative/Flickr
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Comments 50
You got mad at a cashier for being mad at someone who brought in 600 coupons? Are you freakin' kidding me? I can't even take the rest of the blog seriously now lol. Customers suck.
She said she got mad at the person with the 600 coupons, not the cashier.
OK I'll jump in with an embarrasing one. You get all hairy everywhere, and the places you would most like to trim, you cannot see or reach. Also, your sense of smell is better, and you are secreting more smelly things than usual, so you have to walk around smelling yourself all day. Ewwwwwwwww.
"With Fetus"???? Sounds like you're really happy to be pregnant. How about saying "the moment I'm pregnant", or "when I am with child", or "when I am carrying a baby"?
Oh thank goodness I read that wrong. I was like WHAT?!
Are you serious elfishpirat? Did she not use an endearing enough term for you? It is a fetus and therefore she was with fetus. Is fetus somehow not as good as a baby?
I second the super sensitive smelling ability. I was convinced I could smell my earlobe during all 3 of my pregnancies. I had my husband looking and smelling in my ear almost every morning because I thought there was some undiagnosed fungal infection growing in there.
And everyone always said I was glowing throughout them and I would respond its the flatulence. They leave I nice after glow when I let em rip.
I've heard all about the farting, but I havent had any of those problems. I was sooo terrified of getting hemorrhoids or constipated, I didnt even know tummy bubbles could be a problem till I started reading about it recently. Im a million years (37 weeks) pregnant now and almost out of the woods and crazy symptoms free!