Yesterday, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar gathered together with friends and family members to pay tribute to their 20th child, Jubilee Shalom, who was stillborn after Michelle suffered a miscarriage in her second trimester of pregnancy. By all accounts, it was a lovely event that helped the family find some peace in their tragedy, but it's some photos from the event that have people talking.
After the miscarriage, the couple had some creative pictures taken with the baby's body. There are pictures of them holding her tiny hands and feet, which they distributed at the memorial, along with messages such as: "There is no foot too small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world."
The comments after TMZ posted the pictures were harsh. Everything from, "This is wrong. SO wrong" to "That is disgusting!"
I see nothing disgusting about them. Sure they are hard to look at and imagine the life that never will be, but there's nothing easy about miscarriage. It's one of the most heartbreaking things a family can go through, and unless you have been there yourself under the exact same set of circumstances, you have no right to judge.
The pictures aren't gruesome, even though TMZ put a huge yellow warning across the slideshow stating: "WARNING: IMAGES MAY BE DISTURBING." What's disturbing about a parent wanting a reminder of the life they carried and dreamed about for months? How are these any more gruesome than an open casket at any funeral?
Seeing this family grieve so openly through the service and pictures is also comforting for many women who haven't done so for their own miscarriage losses. Many of us just suffer in silence as the world moves on without the babies we once dreamed would be in it. As Michelle said of some of the women who had suffered miscarriages and showed up for the memorial:
They told me, "I felt like this was a service for my little one, I needed to be here today." I am so thankful that God brought us together, they were hugging me and telling me it reached their hearts for their own babies.
Best wishes to the Duggars as they continue their grieving process ... in whatever way helps them get through this trying time.
What do you think of the pictures of Jubilee the Duggars shared at the memorial service?
Image via TLC
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Comments 398
I fully respect their right to make the decision for their family, but I always find this means of grieving (photos cradling a stillborn/miscarriage) a little disturbing and I would never choose it personally. I also think that it's inappropriate for young children to be directly involved, especially if they are at all resistant and would never try to coerce their participation. As an adult you can deal with your grief in whatever way you choose, but I can see this being supremely traumatic for a very young child.
I think the pictures that were released were beautilful and a great way for the duggers to grieve and remember their tiny lost baby. I beleive I would do the same if this happened to me. These photos were in no way grotesque or disturbing. I have seen MANY MANY photo slide shows on youtube of all places of miscarried babies and while terribly sad, its not discusting or grotesque in any way. These were made as a memorial. I think, in the duggers case that this shows that a LIFE was lost, not that michelle simply had a miscarriage. It puts it all in perspective.
Their previous daughter was born only a couple weeks further along than this miscarriage. They may have a little different perspective after having such a premature baby right before this one...just a thought...