Parenting

Revealing Your Baby's Name Before Birth Is Asking for Trouble

babyBefore I got pregnant, and before my husband and I even seriously started contemplating getting pregnant, we had a name picked out were we ever to have a little girl. It was one of those things that just happened. I wasn't thinking about it, something was just randomly triggered, and I knew we'd never find a more perfect name for the person we brought into the world. My husband whole-heartedly agreed.

We were so sure of this name, actually, that I told it to my mother, who lay in the hospital a week and a half away from death. I knew the odds that she'd get to meet my child weren't in our favor, so I at least wanted to share the name with her. It was a quirky name, but my old-school Italian mother uttered the words, "Oh, I like that" after I told her. And, with that, it was officially settled.

Fast-forward to a year and a half later; I am pregnant. As luck would have it, with a girl. But my late mother is the only person who will know my daughter's name until the day she's born.

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Despite the fact that this name is perfect -- to us -- and that we're so completely and totally confident that we'd never find anything better, we still don't want people's opinions, faces, or reactions. Particularly those from family. I would never change it, and I know my traditional relatives would eventually come around to her uncommon name, but still. It would taint things a bit. And it would really piss me off.

Here's an example. Before we found out the sex of the baby, my husband and I were tossing around boy names. (Side note -- boys' names are way harder to think of than girls'.) One of the names we thought about, but then crossed off our list for various reasons, was Jett. I told my sister this, thinking that since it was no longer in the running, it wouldn't garner such a strong reaction. I couldn't have been more wrong. "Oh, you mean like John Travolta's kid?! Oh God, you definitely can't do that," etc. etc. Even though that name didn't make the cut, I was still offended that something that my husband and I contemplated -- for about 10 minutes -- was met with such distaste. It was hurtful and seemed out of line. You wouldn't make fun of a child's name after they're born, would you (celebrities excluded)? What makes it okay to do so while they're still in the womb?

So, needless to say, that right there only further solidified our decision to keep things under wraps for the remainder of the pregnancy. It feels a little pretentious at times, like, "Oh, you're just going to have to wait for the giant unveiling of our child's name to find out," but you know what? I really don't care. It's worth it.

Did you tell your baby's name before he or she was born?

 

Image via Scott & Elaine van der Chijs/Flickr

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