Friends Should Not Watch Friends Give Birth


kelly rowlandKelly wants to watch Beyonce give birth.Sometimes it seems like Kelly Rowland is pregnant instead of Beyonce. First, she accidentally leaked the sex of Bey and Jay's baby during an interview. Then she bought a ridiculous, over-the-top gift for the couple/child to make up for the gaffe. And now she's saying she wants to watch Beyonce give birth. As in be in the delivery room.

Now, I've never met Beyonce or Jay-Z personally, but going off of what I know of them from rag mags and gossip sites (read: they seem normal), I'm thinking that's not going to happen. And it shouldn't. Because having friends in the delivery room when you give birth is insane!

I don't think anyone would call me conservative or prudish, but years ago, way before my husband and I thought about getting pregnant (way before we were even married), I recall telling someone: "No one -- not even my husband -- is going to be in the delivery room with me when I give birth." Of course, now that I'm older, pregnant, and less idiotic, my stance on that has changed -- he can totally be in the delivery room with me when I give birth -- but not a solitary other person. Except for, you know, the doctor and nurses and whatnot.

When I tell people this, for the most part, they're in agreement. I don't think too many ladies want stadium seating and a crowd present during the single most intimate, raw moment of their lives. But some people, people close to me, ask me if I would have had my mother in the room with me if she were still alive. The answer to that is a resounding no.

I would do anything -- literally anything -- to have my mother with me still. There's not a day that goes by that I don't ache for her and wish that she could see and hold her granddaughter -- and see her own daughter become a mom. And I know I'd want her close by at all times when I went into labor. But I would not want her physically present when I was physically giving birth.

For as close as we were, it's just too much. Childbirth is too personal. Childbirth is too ... gross. Yeah, yeah, I know it's a beautiful, magical thing and all, but the stories I've heard of women ... pooping ... are not. And I'm sorry, I just don't need anyone, aside from a medical professional, seeing that -- if, God forbid, it should happen.

And it's not just the pooping. It's the whole thing. I'm imagining there's going to be a lot of screaming, crying, pushing, and gripping. To me, that, and the act of another human -- my human -- coming into the world really is something that should only be seen by my husband and me.

Friends, relatives, and countrymen can come in afterward and offer support when all is a little sane again. Just not during. That's just not for me.

Who was present when you gave birth?


Image via Lunchbox LP/Flickr


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nonmember avatar Reta

I had my husband, my mom and my best friend with me. When you are in the midst of pushing; which really doesn't involve screaming and crying, you need them for the support. It is a personal, but that was something I wanted to share with them.

kjsmo... kjsmommy0106

I had a csection so only one. But I had 7 people in the room while in labor.

nonmember avatar K

I have personally never given birth, but last year I was in the room when my best friend gave birth to her daughter. It was an amazing experience and as pre-discussed I stood at her head and held her hand.

Colet... Colette923

I told my mother long before that the only person I wanted in the room was my hubby. Then when I was in labor and in too much pain to kick her out she came back into the room.

nonmember avatar toni s

I acted as a doula for 3 friends as well as 2 of my sisters labors...I think really its about who makes you more comfortable during that time.

Stacey. Stacey.

I had an all natural birth. It was very quick, I pushed for 15 minutes. There was no sweating, crying, I DID scream  LOL but overall it wasnt like the movies where you turn into the devil and your head spins around. I would not have minded any friends being in there, as my true friends have seen me in far worse condition than that.

The only person in the room with me was my boyfriend as I have no family here in FL and I went into labor at 3am so all my friends were sleeping in bed.

TwoTw... TwoTwenties

My husband and childhood best friend were with me.  She was in town visiting and it all happened so fast.  We did not intend for it to happen, but they started wheeling in everything and she was stuck!  I remember pushing (drug free) and looking up and seeing her crying and trying to hide behind a beam in the room.  She was traumatized, but we all survived and looking back I am happy to have that story to share with her!

nonmember avatar Rhyannon

Originally, I wanted only my husband and midwives to be in the room when I gave birth. My mom was visiting, though and really wanted to be there, so I let her in. Six months later, my mom died of complications following heart surgery and now I'm really glad she was there for her only grandchild's first moments.

ashjo85 ashjo85

I had everyone leave the room except my husband and my sister, who was sitting (cowering) in a corner with a camera waiting to get baby's first pictures. I don't think she wanted to be there, but I was so tired and so out of it, the Pope could have been standing in the room and I wouldn't have noticed.

hutch... hutchfam2007

Friends are an absolute NO in my book. I also wouldnt have my sister in there. I had my hubby, my mom and my MIL. At first I thought having my MIL in there would be a little weird... but when you are in the moment, honestly I couldnt have cared less if the Pope were in there. My MIL and i are very close and she had never witnessed a birth other than her own and I really think my daughter and her have a special bond because of that. My aunt peeked into the room and saw me in full glory and I didnt care in the least. Actually laughed when I saw the look on her face. It IS a personal thing and therefore is a personal decision who you want to be present. Having #2 in May and plan to have the same crowd :)

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