Friends Should Not Watch Friends Give Birth

kelly rowlandKelly wants to watch Beyonce give birth.Sometimes it seems like Kelly Rowland is pregnant instead of Beyonce. First, she accidentally leaked the sex of Bey and Jay's baby during an interview. Then she bought a ridiculous, over-the-top gift for the couple/child to make up for the gaffe. And now she's saying she wants to watch Beyonce give birth. As in be in the delivery room.

Now, I've never met Beyonce or Jay-Z personally, but going off of what I know of them from rag mags and gossip sites (read: they seem normal), I'm thinking that's not going to happen. And it shouldn't. Because having friends in the delivery room when you give birth is insane!


I don't think anyone would call me conservative or prudish, but years ago, way before my husband and I thought about getting pregnant (way before we were even married), I recall telling someone: "No one -- not even my husband -- is going to be in the delivery room with me when I give birth." Of course, now that I'm older, pregnant, and less idiotic, my stance on that has changed -- he can totally be in the delivery room with me when I give birth -- but not a solitary other person. Except for, you know, the doctor and nurses and whatnot.

When I tell people this, for the most part, they're in agreement. I don't think too many ladies want stadium seating and a crowd present during the single most intimate, raw moment of their lives. But some people, people close to me, ask me if I would have had my mother in the room with me if she were still alive. The answer to that is a resounding no.

I would do anything -- literally anything -- to have my mother with me still. There's not a day that goes by that I don't ache for her and wish that she could see and hold her granddaughter -- and see her own daughter become a mom. And I know I'd want her close by at all times when I went into labor. But I would not want her physically present when I was physically giving birth.

For as close as we were, it's just too much. Childbirth is too personal. Childbirth is too ... gross. Yeah, yeah, I know it's a beautiful, magical thing and all, but the stories I've heard of women ... pooping ... are not. And I'm sorry, I just don't need anyone, aside from a medical professional, seeing that -- if, God forbid, it should happen.

And it's not just the pooping. It's the whole thing. I'm imagining there's going to be a lot of screaming, crying, pushing, and gripping. To me, that, and the act of another human -- my human -- coming into the world really is something that should only be seen by my husband and me.

Friends, relatives, and countrymen can come in afterward and offer support when all is a little sane again. Just not during. That's just not for me.

Who was present when you gave birth?


Image via Lunchbox LP/Flickr

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