At no time in my life have I ever fielded as many ridiculously horrible comments from strangers as I did when I was pregnant. It's like everyone and their sister had to come up to me and make absurdly awful comments -- the sorts of things you should never say to ANYONE, let alone someone hormonal and pregnant.
So, now that I'm no longer hormonal or pregnant, I've compiled a list of the most wicked things people said to me while I was pregnant.
1. Are you SURE you're not carrying twins?
2. Wow ... you're taking this whole 'eating for two' thing to a new level, aren't you?
3. Be happy you only have morning sickness. It was much worse for me.
4. So you're due next week, right? Oh ... you're only three months along? Well. I guess pregnancy looks different on everybody.
5. I was in my size 4s after delivery!
6. Oh, be careful. I had a friend whose friend whose cousin had a baby with [insert horrible complication here]. Let's hope YOUR baby doesn't have it.
7. You ARE breastfeeding, aren't you?
8. You AREN'T breastfeeding, are you?
9. Labor was the most intense, grueling pain I've felt in my entire life. I'd rather die than go through labor again.
10. My friend's cousin's friend's mother nearly died in labor. Actually, maybe she did die. Or it was a plot on Melrose Place. I can't remember.
11. You should REALLY look into birth control.
12. Let's hope he doesn't get your husband's nose. Sheesh! What a honker that is!
13. Um, that was the name I was going to use for MY baby even though I'm not pregnant. You can't use it. Ever.
14. You think you're not sleeping now? HA! Just WAIT until the baby gets here.
15. Well *I* was still running 60 miles a week when I was x far along.
16. I only gained 10 pounds during my entire pregnancy.
17. I breastfed those extra 10 pounds right off!
18. How dare you complain about not feeling good. Didn't you WANT to be pregnant?
19. My labor only lasted 15 minutes. I think it was because I was in such great shape after running 60 miles a day.
20. So, how DO you get your shoes on?
Your turn! What horrible things did people say to you while YOU were pregnant?
Image via www.photographybyjoelle.com/Flickr
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"Three under five? You're going to have your hands full!" Really? I hadn't considered that! Then again, I'm only 25 and have the energy to deal with that. "You know what causes that, right?" No, genius. I thought it came from eating the soup. "You didn't plan this, did you?" HOW is that your business? "So are you planning on having more?" Let's just have this one and then my HUSBAND and I will decide when to stop procreating. "Oh, you're finally getting your girl! Now your family is complete!" Well, in our case it is. But what would you say if I told you we wanted to be the next Duggar family? "She's going to be spoiled rotten." No, actually, she's not. I've seen kids that are spoiled rotten, and I don't plan to emulate their parents. So stop before you start dishing out the advice, will you?
And yes, these are all comments I have gotten from friends, family, and complete and total strangers.