Tragic Homebirth Proves Mother's Instinct Knows Best

on November 4, 2011 at 12:54 PM

For every amazing, transcendent, love-filled story of home birth, there almost inevitably seems to be at least one horror story. There are tales of being transported screaming to the hospital, or worse still -- mothers losing babies, babies losing mothers. Margarita Sheikh is one mother in Oregon who will always regret her decision to have her baby at home with two unlicensed midwives.

Her baby boy died and that would be heartbreaking enough. But the worst part is that she screamed and screamed for her midwives to take her to the hospital after laboring for eight days alone without her husband (he was stuck in India with visa issues), and no one took her.

Isn't the whole point of home birth that someone will be listening more to the mom? At home, aren't you supposed to be less of a cog in the wheel? Perhaps if she had been transported, her baby would be alive today.

My heart breaks for Sheikh. She was trying to do what any of us moms would by having the most calming, best labor possible. She did nothing wrong except hire unlicensed midwives, but in Oregon, it's legal to practice without a license and she did her research, so why would she automatically assume the worst?

The fact is, I know dozens of women personally who have birthed at home and had amazing, beautiful births. There is no reason Sheikh should have assumed that she wouldn't be one of them.

Critics may come down hard on her, but she isn't the one to blame. She knew she needed to go to the hospital, but she was ignored. It's the same old story we hear from women giving birth.

In the movies we see it all the time. The crazy woman is ranting and raving during labor and immediately after laughs and feels embarrassed over her ravings. "Don't listen to anything I say during labor" seems to be the message from both pop culture and life.

In fact, it's the opposite. We women know better than anyone what needs to happen during labor. We need to trust ourselves and our instincts more. Sheikh knew what needed to happen and she was ignored. The results were tragic.

Politicians are using her story to force midwives to be licensed, and certainly, that is needed too. But what we need even more is confidence in ourselves. We need to trust our instincts. A woman giving birth is smart and powerful, not a raving lunatic. My heart breaks for Sheikh, but what happened to her baby isn't her fault.

Did you have a home birth?

Image via [sic]/Flickr

About the author Sasha Brown-Worsham

can't decide whether she is a mother, writer, or runner, but is usually all three at some point each day. She has written for dozens of print magazines, newspapers, and websites. She rarely ever writes on bathroom walls.

Filed Under: labor, labor & delivery, homebirth

Comments (110)|
Likes (9)

Like What You Just Read?

Click the "Like" button below to get Natural Parenting stories on Facebook.

Comments (110)

OkieGirl74

on Nov 4, 2011 at 1:00 PM

And why didn't she call for an ambulance, friend or family? Why didn't her husband call for an ambulance friend or family member to help her?

Report this comment

Stacey.

on Nov 4, 2011 at 1:01 PM

No. And this is why. I know someone whos baby died from the umbilical cord being pinched (or something along those lines), something that the doctors at the hospital could have intervened and stopped from happening.

Did the mom not have a phone to call 911? COuld she not have went to a neighbors house during the first few days and had them call? Something's not right.

I know sometimes the hospitals intervene too much, which is why it's good to have a partner who can advocate for you. I'd rather have a partner stop a dr. from intervening too much than be at home where something may happen and not make it to a hospital in time.

on Nov 4, 2011 at 1:04 PM

There is a reason hospitals have an entire wing for birthing. We've been delivering babies since the beginning of time, I think we should learn from our ancestors that a hospital is necessary, even if 90% of the time nothing happens, there is always that 10% chance it could and that 10% could include you (obviously I made up those stats for the purpose of making a point). Stuff like this should not happen in vain.

Melissa042807

on Nov 4, 2011 at 1:08 PM

That is definitely a case of bad midwifery. Bad midwives exist just as bad doctors do. Those midwives should have taken her to the hospital. Or the mother should have said "Screw you guys, I'm calling 911." And if they prevented her from doing so, they need to be charged and prevented from practicing midwifery again. Which is why I'm a proponent of licensing - it would be easier to weed the bad ones out and keep them from practicing again. At least, theoretically.

cocobeannns

on Nov 4, 2011 at 1:12 PM

This is so wrong. I think the midwives need to be held responsible for the death of that baby. They should have called for help the first time it was asked. How sad.

GirlNamedBillie

on Nov 4, 2011 at 1:15 PM

She should have had someone licensed, I put all the blame on the midwives. This mother was just trying to do what she thought was best, she got to a point where she KNEW she needed to get to the hospital and they wouldn't take her, I'm assuming it's because they weren't licensed and didn't want to deal with the backlash from the hospital.

on Nov 4, 2011 at 1:18 PM

but also a little blame on her for not having licensed midwives. People are already using this story as a way to say "BOOO HOMEBIRTH!" get a clue people, america has the highest mortality rate. Some people just don't want to deal with hospitals, when I give birth I damn well let them know what I want and what I don't want. If you're not high risk, you don't need interventions.

Facebook comment from Alexis Coxon

on Nov 4, 2011 at 1:21 PM

Her husband was out of the country due to visa issues. Some reports also say that her phone was taken from her, and her friends say that the midwives would not allow them in the house to check on her.

momtolittleg

on Nov 4, 2011 at 1:33 PM

If it is true that her phone was taken from her and people were not allowed in, then those unlicensed midwifes should be charged with murder of some sort. But if she had access to a phone, then it is on her for not calling 911.

EquestrianMom

on Nov 4, 2011 at 1:34 PM

Wow, what a tradgedy. Home births should not be to blame for this, this was obviously gross misjudgement by the midwives! What midwife would allow a woman to labor for 8 days and not take her in to a hospital? I'm not a midwife, but that is just plain stupid.

That said, we still have deaths of babies in hospitals too, it is horrific what happened to her, and probably would have been prevented by going into a hospital (again, gross misjudgement there!) but deaths in hospitals occur too.

Somehome births are perfect, some hospital births are, and some are tragic no matter how you go about it.