Now You Can Eat Your Placenta Without the Ick Factor

new babyIt doesn't matter where you stand on the whole "eating your own placenta" trend. It's in. Moms are making loaves, sucking down capsules, even spreading it in jelly form. And now postpartum placenta consumption is even an option for preggos with a weak stomach.

Introducing the placenta preparer. Yeah, that's a real job. And even in my "nope, wasn't gonna eat that thing" state, I have to admit it sounds kind of ... cool?


I mean, maaaaaybe I would have consumed "that thing" if I didn't have to actually, um, touch it? Yeah, yeah, I'm such a hypocrite. When my daughter was born, I remember my doctor asking if I wanted to see it. I remember him crowing about what a wonderful little piece of biology it was. And I remember saying, "Sorry Dr. Z., but I'm more interested in the BABY."

I'll give my husband credit. He looked. He asked questions. I was staring adoringly across the room at the person who had just come out of my crotch. I frickin' just MADE that! And OK, yeah, I was squicked. I'm the type of gal who wouldn't make it in the medical field because I can't handle the sight of blood and guts. You can call that hypocritical, or you can call it realistic.

So it's for all the realistic moms out there that I noted the words "placenta prepaper" in the New York Magazine article touting the perks of partaking postpartum. They bore just a minute mention -- after all, this was more a story of what are those goofy hipsters up to these days -- but these ladies (an online search brought up all ladies ... no offense to any gents out there with a placentophagic business brewing) could be the key to mainstreaming this niche piece of new motherhood.

All you have to do is deliver a baby and keep the placenta. They do the rest. Encapsulate it in little tablets for mom. Make up a placenta tincture for the baby. Boil a broth. Create a commemorative. The whole nine. You don't have to touch it! Or even see it if you don't want to! It's so legitimate there are even OSHA-approved courses for these folks (literally, the course is called "Bloodborne Pathogens for Doulas, Midwifes & Placenta Encapsulators").

So what do you say? Would you hire a placenta preparer?


Image via bradbrundage/Flickr

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