Teen pregnancy gets a bad rap though not in Sofia Vergara's eyes. The show Teen Mom doesn't really help matters. Some moms who watch the show probably think Oh my gosh please don't turn my daughter into one of those troubled girls and even teens who watch may think twice when saying no to birth control. As for me ... I stand in the middle, and Vergara has got me thinking. I want the best for my kids. We all do ... except for the select few crazies. But being a teen mom doesn't have to mean doom. I know women who were teen moms who have amazing children, who are nothing like Jenelle or Amber. If my mom was a teenager when she had me, I would sure be glad she did.
And I think that's why the Modern Family star is speaking out In Redbook on how she had her first child when she was just 19 ... and she and her son turned out just fine. She's even talking about the benefits.
Vergara's son, Manolo, is now 19 -- the same age she was when she had him. Wait a minute ... wow ... Sofia is my age and she has a 19-year-old son!? THAT just blew my mind. My kids are not even 2 yet. And that's exactly why I have a little bit of envy for young moms. I feel like they will be around to see their kid grow kind of old. I know I'm "young" in the scheme of things and I feel young and sprightly (ha) and I survived and actually loved the early days of my twins and the barely getting any sleep part. But as Sofia says of her teenage years, "I had the energy for everything."
I have the energy for (almost) everything and you would think so too as long as you didn't look in my messy closets so I'm not worried about me. But I do get what she is saying. Sort of. However just because you have the energy for everything doesn't mean you want to have the energy to care for a baby. My teen years are a haze of staying up late and sleeping past noon.
Still, I don't think it's about energy or living long ... it's about being ready. Even when you don't really think you are ready. Ready to make that commitment. That fantastical, beautiful commitment of parenthood. Some women are ready to become a mom at a young age. Maybe we, as a whole, shouldn't be hard on all teen moms.
But talk to me in 16 years and my daughter having news like this for me and it might be a different story.
What do you think about Sofia's statement? Do you think teen moms deserve the bad rap they get?
Image via burningkarma/Flickr
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Comments 57
I had my first kid at 21 and I will be having my second at 23. Granted I'm not a 'Teen Mom' but I am a young mom. I'm glad I had my kids young. I always knew I wanted to have my kids young. I was already married for more then a year when I found out I was pregnant with my first. I don't think ANYONE is ready to be a parent until they are one and even then it's all a guessing game and trial and error. Now don't get me wrong, I don't like seeing teens having babies, I think they should wait and I would be heart broken if my daughter came home at 16 and told me she was pregnant, but I don't think her life would be over either. Yes, life changes, life is harder now, you have to grow up faster and you miss out on a lot of being young, which is why I discourage teens from getting pregnant, but IF it happens, life does go on.
I pretty much agree with the above poster. I don't really think there are "benefits" to being a teen mom, but it's not the end of the world. If you are motivated and determined, you can still succeed. Also, I think energy is kind of different for each person. I'm 21 and my 55 year old mother in law has more energy than me.
There's a difference between being a "young mom" by choice, and a "teen mom" by mistake.
A young mom who is married, maybe with a job, or whose husband has a job, at least has a stable situation in which to raise children. She/they may have already thought through the ramifications, and are ready to have kids young. Likely she's 19, 20, whatever, has at least completed high school, maybe some college.
A teen mom - in the definition that is most used - is unmarried, and got pregnant by accident. She is not prepared. She doesn't have a husband (and I'm sorry, a husband IS a huge help when you have kids), she may have a fractured family, either before the pregnancy or because of the pregnancy. Hers is not the ideal situation. It's not even the "tough but happy" situation of young, married and pregnant.
There's a HUGE difference. I agree with the first, that it can be a great adventure, and won't screw up the kids. But to celebrate the second is to further make it acceptable to be irresponsible.
There's not an 'ideal' time to have a baby. Some people have children young and step up to the plate and are great parents. Others could be thirty-five and still aren't willing to put a child ahead of themselves. I was a 'young-ish' mom (early 20s) and it was fine- realistically, for me, I was ready and was happy to be finished my family with three kids before thirty.
My mom had me when she was 17 and I turnee out fine. I am married to a wounderful husband for 4 yrs now and we have two wounderful kids a girl and boy. I was 22 yrs old when I had my little girl and I was 24 yrs old when I had my son. I am now 25 yrs old and I love my kids no matter what age I am young or old. My two kids are the first grands, great-grands, and great-great-grands, and yes the only two great-great-grandmas are still alive and kickin. I am glade that I did have them as young as I did, bc my baby brother who is 8 yrs old has his dad who is 46-48 yrs old and our mom who is 43-45yrs old.