Wow, I can't believe it's been nine months already! Where did the time go? It seems like just yesterday that I was tentatively running my hands over my lower belly, wondering how I was going to grow two whole babies in there, unsure of what was to come. And now look at us!
I have to admit, when we first got together, I had my doubts about you. It wasn't your fault, but I'd been burned before and had my heart broken, and for a while there, I wasn't sure if I'd ever recover from it. But, you brought me back to life, you gave me my spirit back. I knew with you, early on, that this time, things were going to be different. And they were ...
Of course, from the beginning, you always kept me guessing. Like at the six-week ultrasound, when the doctor told us, "There's the heartbeat ... oh, and there's another one." I remember asking, "What?! Twins?!" as my husband sat back in his seat, his hands covering his face. "Yep," the doctor said. "Identical twins." So, yeah, that was kind of a shocker. I was stunned, but also thrilled, so relieved that there was even one strong heartbeat, and then doubly blessed that there were two.
Oh, and that whole boys or girls back-and-forth? What was that about? You kept us on our toes with that one too. I mean, I sort of felt like I was carrying boys, but then at our 12-week ultrasound, the doctor was almost positive that the babies were girls. So, I shifted gears, started thinking of girls' names, even began weighing my feelings about pink nursery decor. But, noooo, just four weeks later, it was confirmed -- two winkies, two boys! And as I looked at their anatomy on the high-res scan, I wondered how I missed those packages the first time around.
You know, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but a lot of people tried to warn me about you. They kept saying that the honeymoon phase would end, that ultimately you'd show your true colors, that at some point, I'd decide that I'd had enough of you. I'll admit, in the last week or so, yeah, I'm finding you a little annoying. But overall, you have totally exceeded my expectations. As anyone who knows me could tell you, I've been a lifelong hypochondriac. With you though, I've been so calm, so completely trusting. It's like you put some kind of mellowing spell over me, maybe so I could weather nine months of almost weekly exams and the nagging, back-of-my-mind concerns about a high-risk twin pregnancy. I'm hoping that I can maintain this level of Zen, even after we've gone our separate ways.
We also just seem to fit together, don't you think? Overall, you've helped me feel so healthy and strong -- my skin was glowing, my hair was soft, I had plenty of energy. Granted, you inspired me to take better care of myself as well, so maybe that was part of it too. I mean the yoga every week, all of those fruits and vegetables, sacrificing my coffee and Diet Coke -- yeah, that was all for you. (Okay, maybe I didn't always treat you as well as I should have. There were those glasses of red wine in Paris, and I have had a few cured meat slip-ups, but come on, even you have to admit that pepperoni is just so good!) Even in the last couple of months, with all of my Marshmallow-Man swelling and rib pain and itchy skin, I still feel like you went pretty easy on me.
Mainly though, just look at what you've done for me -- you grew two (hopefully) strong, healthy baby boys in this body of mine. And you kept them in there for 38 weeks. That's incredible! I never ever thought that we'd get this far, and I'm so beyond grateful at what you've been able to achieve for me, for my boys. I don't mean to sound like a Disney movie, but you're amazing, you're a miracle. This experience of pregnancy has been such a gift already -- watching my body grow and change, feeling those flutters and kicks reminding me of the tiny lives inside, that point when I realized that they were already little beings all their own, and I was now just a vessel to keep them safe and strong. I'm so lucky that I was able to grow two lives in my body and, I promise you, not for one second did I take it for granted. Thank you, thank you, thank you for letting me have this.
So, in just a few days, we're going to part ways, you and me. Of course, you're leaving me with two precious mementos of our time together, two gifts that were the result of a lot of love, a lot of patience, and a lot of banana pudding. (Oh, and I think you left me with a few stretch marks too, but I forgive you.) I should have gotten you something in return, but what do you get for that someone that's given you everything? I can tell you this -- I'm always going to cherish our time together and will miss you more than I can express, especially because I know we're not likely to cross paths again. I'm sure in the weeks to come, I'll find myself tentatively running my hands over my belly again, marveling at how it used to hold my two sons in there. Then, I'll probably strap on my tummy girdle, load up the diaper bag, and take my babies for a walk in their double stroller, my pregnancy already starting to feel like a distant memory.
Can you relate? What sentiment would you share with your pregnancy?