Help! I'm Now in Pregnancy Limbo

pregnant pointing at bellyAlright, so I fully admit that my pregnancy hormones might be making me crazy, and I know that. Just last week, I said I wasn't ready to have my babies yet. But, I changed my mind ... like, in the last 24 hours. For weeks now, I've been wanting to embrace the naps, and the freedom and the quiet time to read a book. And now, I just want my babies to come out already!

It started yesterday, after my doctor's visit, when he once again told me that I was showing zero signs of early labor -- no thinning of the cervix, no dilation, my amniotic fluid is still aplenty. Seriously, doc, nothing?! Of course, he said that I could still go into labor at any time, but as of now, it looks like I'm going to make it to our scheduled hospital date next week. And, just like that, I started feeling really bummed. A whole week? Waaaaa!


I really thought that they were ready to come out -- I certainly feel ready to pop. I even took one of those online quizzes to see if labor was coming soon. Have they dropped? I don't know, my stomach weighs over 13 pounds -- could that just be the force of gravity? Sure, I'm nesting, I guess, but do I have something better to do? I'm restless and I can't sleep -- is that a sign? The quiz seemed to think so and said that labor was coming soon! But noooo, apparently the random, non-scientific, online quiz was wrong! WTF?! Maybe I should have put more stock in real indicators like, I don't know, contractions and a bloody show.

So why am I suddenly so bummed about it? Well, first of all, with every passing day, I'm getting more and more uncomfortable. I'm sleeping sitting up (to alleviate my back pain and heartburn), which basically means I'm not sleeping at all. I'm continuing to swell at a rapid pace, and it's moving north. So now, in addition to having what I like to call "thankles" (meaning: I have no definition in my ankles or my knees, so my thighs and calves and ankles are all one large, formless stump), I now also have a thick neck, no jawline, puffy lips, and big, red Santa cheeks. Oh, and I get winded just walking to the car. As much as I loved my pregnancy, I'm kind of ready to have my body back.

Plus, maybe I really did feel like I wanted to check some things off of the list before I went into labor. Could it be that going out for our anniversary and seeing Harry Potter with my mom and surviving Carmageddon were really that important to me? Uh, I guess so. With those "biggies" out of the way, I'm sort of feeling like, "Well, what now?"

We've been seeing movies and going out for "last meals" for weeks now. How many times can we go back to our favorite Mexican or Indian food restaurant, remarking on how we won't be doing this again for awhile? I mean, it's getting expensive! I guess we could go back to Costco to restock the freezer one more time. Should I try to finish another book? Should we see two whole movies this weekend? My God, are we wild! That's the other thing -- I move (read: waddle) in slow motion now, so it's not like we can even stroll around a summer food festival or take a trip to Disneyland.

Last night, I took a cue from my husband and tried to talk some sense into my little ones. "Hey guys, listen, I know that I said I wasn't quite ready to meet you, but I'm over that now. Your room is ready and we've got your stuff all packed for the hospital and I think maybe it's time we met face-to-face. I promise you, I'll make it just as nice outside of my belly as it is in there. So, what more do you need Mama to do?"

Now I'm understanding what my husband has been feeling for weeks. It's kind of like being at the airport, waiting for a flight, and you have to stay close to the gate in case the boarding info changes. Oh, and you showed up early because you didn't know how long it would take to get through security, so now you've just been sitting there for two hours. The good news is that at least you know you'll be departing soon, and might even know exactly when, but you can't really go anywhere in the meantime. You've read your Us Weekly, you've finished your Cinnabon, and you're contemplating whether you should tear into that $25 terminal sandwich that you're supposed to be saving for the long flight ahead of you.

All that being said, I truly feel so incredibly, incredibly lucky that my twins have stayed in this long, and I wouldn't trade that for the world. I was willing to do anything I had to do if it was going to ensure my babies made it as far along as possible. And I'd happily go another month if I thought it would make them even healthier. But now I've gotten to that point in my pregnancy when I'm feeling like, "Okay, babies, we've done good. You can come out now."

Do you have any advice for getting through the waiting game of pregnancy limbo?

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