Miranda Kerr Should Keep Labor Horror to Herself

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Labor already has a terrible reputation, so when Miranda Kerr said her natural, drug-free birth was so painful, she thought she was going to die, most people probably were not terribly surprised. And while I am sure it was intense (because duh), it does not do women any good to hear all the time how awful labor is.

It is not just to spare pregnant women, either. Our culture as a whole seems to have this idea that labor has to be terrible. We all have to curse and yell and scream and cry and eventually, even those of us who prepared for and planned a drug-free birth, will beg for the epidural.

It is simply not true. Now, I am well aware that I had textbook simple pregnancies and extremely easy labors, which makes me unable to comment on medical intervention. Certainly, when it is needed, it is wonderful. The point is, it is not always needed. And labor is not always a screaming mess of pain.

I practiced Hypnobirthing for both of my births, which is a natural means of pain relief that involves relaxation and visualization combined with light movement and partner massage. It sounds hokey, but if you practice before the labor, it really does work.

By the time I was at the hospital with my daughter, I was in a zone. During the classes, we were taught to change the language around birth. It was not a "painful" experience, but rather an "intense" one. They were not "contractions," they were "surges."

Now, I also have really good genes when it comes to labor. My mom had very easy, quick labors right on her due dates. She never asked for or needed drugs and I was actually present in the room during her second birth, so a lot of the fears most women had, I did not. I had seen one happen and knew it was not that bad.

And while I realize my experiences around birth are not the same as everyone else's, I also know that I felt all the same things most healthy, average women feel during labor. But it was not that bad. I was OK. It was work, sure. But it was not some excruciating mass of pain and horror that blurred together and I hated.

I loved my labors. They were empowering. It may just be one story, but I feel like there is a dearth of nice stories and most of the noise around labor involves how painful and awful it is. So, Miranda Kerr, who has every right to share her story just contributed to that unwittingly.

It's too bad she did not keep those details more private.

Do you think labor is awful and painful?

 

Image via thebigshop99/Flickr

labor & delivery

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1blue... 1bluemonkey

You are the most insensitive blogger I've had the displeasure to read.  How about you tell people receiving chemotherapy to shut up about how horrible it is, so it doesn't scare anyone? Hmm? They don't have the right to voice their experience because it might disturb some one's delicate sensibilities. Let's not stop there - anybody who's ever had dental surgery? STFU because some people can get through it with hypnosis so painful experiences are not valid, and you might scare someone. 


She had a bad time.  She can tell people she had a bad time.  Not everybody has a beautiful, pain free experience because, guess what? TEARING HURTS and sometimes the baby is too big to come out without your vagina ripping to make room.  Ever had your skin ripped open?  Skinned a knee? Got some major rug burn?  Now imagine that IN YOUR VAGINA.  


YOU should shut up and stop invalidating the experiences that other women have when they don't match yours.

nonmember avatar Shelly

Actually, I think woman need to know birth isn't all rainbows and unicorns.

That was HER story, and she has every right to tell it.

ashjo85 ashjo85

^agree. Just because yours was easy and you loved it doesn't mean everyone else did with theirs. And having BOTH voices out there tells women that there is a wide spectrum of experiences. Listening to you, a mom that feels the way Kerr does would feel like she was a wimp and somehow inadequate for not having a blissful experience. Why don't you give the same credit to someone else's opinion that you do to your own, or to those who agree with you?

Julie... Julienikki06

I can totally relTe to Miranda and who is anyone to say she should keep her mouth shut. Maybe you should keep yours shut instead of wasting your time writing stupid things like this....seems like others seem to agree win me!

popta... poptart0325

The first poster (1bluemonkey) said exactly everything that I wanted to say.

Melis... Melissa042807

Everyone has a right to share their story. I have friends whose labors were no big deal and friends whose labors were nightmarish. Miranda Kerr has just as might of a right to tell her story as anybody else.

squish squish


I also had two drug-free labors and deliveries, and one was pretty straight-forward and one was intensely painful. Should I sugar-coat the second birth for fear that it might turn women off to the idea? No. What I do is simply share how I coped, and what I did to make it through. I enjoy and welcome those questions, because there is so much you can actually do to make it through a difficult labor, and women simply aren't told those options. One thing I find beautiful about women who choose this route is their positive feelings toward even a difficult labor. It is hard ladies, but so worth it. :) But you have to prepare. Hire a doula. Hire a midwife. Have a waterbirth. Learn everything you can about unmedicated birth. Know that everyone has their own story, and interprets it based on their own understanding. Most importantly, know that you can do it. :)


Lulu_B Lulu_B

I think that some people NEED to hear how awful it is. I had a friend who planned a natural childbirth, but did almost no planning. No classes, no nothing. People like her need to understand that it is 'intense' (and painful) and that they need to know what to expect and how to deal with it. Otherwise, ignorance can be very dangerous. Some people need to be scared into preparing.

Spike... SpikedMango

You're very rude and insensitive.

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