Miranda Kerr Admits Natural Birth Is Horrible, Thank Goodness

on July 11, 2011 at 5:35 PM

Miranda Kerr is so perfect. Too perfect to believe she's actually a real human, in fact. The kind of perfect that forces all the average people to try to find something, anything about her that's not so perfect (is that a zit on her chin in that lingerie ad, gasp!) to make you feel a little less distant from her on the Perfect Human Scale. And not just in looks or those eyes, which I can't believe aren't contacts. She's cornered the Perfect Mom market, too. Perfect baby daddy, perfect pregnancy, perfect breastfeeding photos, perfect bikini body just THREE months after giving birth ...

Just when I thought the list couldn't get any longer, Kerr admits something shocking about her pregnancy with son Flynn, 7 months old. Kerr was in so much freaking pain extracting that 10-pound sack of bones and water out of her body cavity that she was in searing pain and actually thought she was going to die. And that is just about the best news I have ever heard.

How refreshing to hear a celebrity finally admit that natural childbirth sucks! Because it does. We have the likes of Gisele and Alyssa Milano to thank for that little fairy tale about natural birth being all beautiful and magical. We imagined Kerr having a few little period cramps, gracefully laying down on a table in a post reminiscent of one of her sexy Vic Secret shots, and out pops that perfectly hatched perfect baby child on a perfect sunny day in the low 70s, no humidity.

Well, the part about the weather may have been true. But the delivery wasn't a big ball of sunshine by any stretch. Kerr recently told Australian InStyle magazine, in which she poses on the cover looking unbelievable perfect (she has to stop doing that):

I actually thought I was going to die at one point and left my body. I was looking down on myself, the pain was so intense. I kept thinking, 'How do women do this?' But if other women have done this, I can do it too. I was determined.

Of course, Kerr makes even that agonizing moment seem relaxing. She's sparing us the screaming, swearing, and pulling her hair out parts. I have no doubt it happened. That and begging for the epidural and swearing even more when the evil anesthesiologist gives you some shit about being "too far along" to get it or it will actually "slow labor down" or some such crap, and then you threatening to sue the pants off him if he continues to withhold medication necessary for survival ... or, hmm, maybe I'm confusing that with me. Never mind.

Isn't it refreshing to hear a celebrity admit that natural childbirth isn't a walk in the park for a change?

Image via hugo971/Flickr

About the author Cynthia Dermody

is The Stir's Managing Editor who has trophies in her home for her skills at the Irish Jig. She makes cupcakes with as many fattening ingredients as possible, doesn't comb her hair for months at a time, and was probably a faerie in a former life.

Filed Under: delivery, labor & delivery, pain management, the pregnant life

Comments (37)

Lynette

on Jul 11, 2011 at 5:57 PM

natural birth does not have to suck!!!!!! For my 3rd child I did hypnobabies for pain management. It was like night and day compared to my first 2 births. I was so calm and in control. Birth can be beautiful.

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mama_em_c

on Jul 11, 2011 at 6:07 PM

I deff think so. I have a lot of people pushing natural birth on me and I really don't appreciate it. Just because there is a celeb hype shouldn't mean that people jump on the bandwagon. I have already been in pre-term labor and had hours of contractions, so I do know what that pain feels like. I have read the stats, watched Pregnant In America, One Born Every Minute and The Business of Being Born so I deff know both sides.

If I go natural then I do, if I don't then I'm going to tell people to shove it if they bring it up again.... how would you like it if I told you how you should push something that big out of a place that small? My baby, my body, my decision. I wish people would understand that and that they would trust that I know what is best for me and my child.

KKsmommy07

on Jul 11, 2011 at 6:10 PM

It's slightly ridiculous that you refer to natural child birth as celebrity "hype"
@mama_em_c

JAFE

on Jul 11, 2011 at 6:19 PM

I had one son in 76 and the other in 80 and I don't know what drugs or epidurals are like. People just didn't do that then. I survived and things were okay enough that I had 2. I think a lot is written about it and a lot of it's exaggerated. Not that I'd want to do it again though. I say to each their own and if you want to it's fine and if not, that's fine too.

Melissa042807

on Jul 11, 2011 at 6:33 PM

I appreciate that she's being honest about her experience, not painting it in rosy light because she's afraid of what other people might think. For some people "natural" birth is awesome, for others it sucks. For some people (like me!) epidurals are awesome, for others epidurals suck. Everyone is allowed to have their own experience.

Nonmember comment from Shelly

on Jul 11, 2011 at 6:34 PM

Giving birth, is difficult. Doesn't matter what kind you have, there is no "easy" road. I'm still thankful for my C-section, because I think natural birth would have been much more painful...and something I have no interest in.

zandhmom2

on Jul 11, 2011 at 6:51 PM

For my first, I had an epidural but it was still painful and I ripped a little. My second one, I got to the hospital too late for an epidural and had her natural (all 9lbs 2oz) and even though the pain was unbearable, the delivery was so much shorter and my recovery time was awesome. I remember I was home and cleaning and mopping my kitchen floor like 4 days after birth. I felt great. With my first, it took weeks to feel better. I think for most women, giving birth is NOT a pleasurable experience but then when it is over, it is soooo worth it right? I am glad to finally hear someone in Hollywood say that it hurts, well because it does!

jpfsmom

on Jul 11, 2011 at 7:00 PM

Amen Melissa...

Facebook comment from Sarah Dailey

on Jul 11, 2011 at 8:12 PM

She didn't say it was horrible. She said it hurt and it was hard...
While you're entitled to your own opinion, I prefer not to use adjectives like "horrible" when referencing bringing forth a life.

Facebook comment from Lesley Rae King

on Jul 11, 2011 at 9:05 PM

I know this is way off the topic, but I just have to say that picture of her is pretty creepy. She literally looks like a Barbie doll; her left arm looks like it's made of plastic and it sticks out at an unnatural angle. Weird.