Miranda Kerr Admits Natural Birth Is Horrible, Thank Goodness

Cynthia Dermody
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Miranda KerrMiranda Kerr is so perfect. Too perfect to believe she's actually a real human, in fact. The kind of perfect that forces all the average people to try to find something, anything about her that's not so perfect (is that a zit on her chin in that lingerie ad, gasp!) to make you feel a little less distant from her on the Perfect Human Scale. And not just in looks or those eyes, which I can't believe aren't contacts. She's cornered the Perfect Mom market, too. Perfect baby daddy, perfect pregnancy, perfect breastfeeding photos, perfect bikini body just THREE months after giving birth ...

Just when I thought the list couldn't get any longer, Kerr admits something shocking about her pregnancy with son Flynn, 7 months old. Kerr was in so much freaking pain extracting that 10-pound sack of bones and water out of her body cavity that she was in searing pain and actually thought she was going to die. And that is just about the best news I have ever heard.

How refreshing to hear a celebrity finally admit that natural childbirth sucks! Because it does. We have the likes of Gisele and Alyssa Milano to thank for that little fairy tale about natural birth being all beautiful and magical. We imagined Kerr having a few little period cramps, gracefully laying down on a table in a post reminiscent of one of her sexy Vic Secret shots, and out pops that perfectly hatched perfect baby child on a perfect sunny day in the low 70s, no humidity. 

Well, the part about the weather may have been true. But the delivery wasn't a big ball of sunshine by any stretch. Kerr recently told Australian InStyle magazine, in which she poses on the cover looking unbelievable perfect (she has to stop doing that):

I actually thought I was going to die at one point and left my body. I was looking down on myself, the pain was so intense. I kept thinking, 'How do women do this?' But if other women have done this, I can do it too. I was determined.

Of course, Kerr makes even that agonizing moment seem relaxing. She's sparing us the screaming, swearing, and pulling her hair out parts. I have no doubt it happened. That and begging for the epidural and swearing even more when the evil anesthesiologist gives you some shit about being "too far along" to get it or it will actually "slow labor down" or some such crap, and then you threatening to sue the pants off him if he continues to withhold medication necessary for survival ... or, hmm, maybe I'm confusing that with me. Never mind.

Isn't it refreshing to hear a celebrity admit that natural childbirth isn't a walk in the park for a change?

 

Image via hugo971/Flickr

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