My Husband Is Having Pregnancy Anxiety

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clockThis weekend, my husband had his first pregnancy-related anxiety dream (that I know of), only instead of it being about a rumbling avalanche of stinky, poopy diapers, he had a dream about driving around in a van. Allow me to explain: In his dream, he and I get picked up for a rafting trip. The van continues to drive around and around and around for what was apparently hours (in his dreamland), until finally, we end up back at the hotel, where the driver tells us that the trip has been postponed until another day.

While normally I'm the one who likes to analyze and dissect a dream to death, for this one, it seems my husband already had a handle on it. He told me that basically, he thought this dream was about the limbo of waiting for our twin babies to come already, that his subconscious was basically telling him, "Alright, let's get on with this thang!" And I realized that as much as I want this pregnancy to last another few weeks, he's in pregnancy purgatory.

Of course, I've been loving this pregnancy ... well, I HAD been loving this pregnancy until the last couple of weeks, since I've stopped sleeping and I'm suddenly itchy all over. And we've both really wanted our babies to go the distance and make it to 38 weeks, so they can get as big and strong and healthy as possible. I had sort of thought my husband was on the same page: excited, but also terrified at the thought of impending parenthood. And he is, or, at least, he was. Apparently, all those nerves that he was having early on, he processed and put away awhile ago. Now, he's just ready to get his baby Daddy game on!

And here's why: As far as he's concerned, trying to get pregnant and finally being pregnant has been like one big looooong process for him and he's ready to collect his prizes ... the babies! Sure, I've had the pregnancy to ooh-and-aah about, marveling over every change in my body, the flutters that turned to kicks, the details of our nursery design. But meanwhile, he's just been waiting for these babies. Of course, he puts his hand or his head on my belly to feel their squirming, he talks to them in the womb, he goes, "Holy shit!" when my tummy visibly rolls and lurches. But still, as he says, it's not going to be real for him until our boys are actually out of the womb and in our arms.

In the last few weeks especially, I think his anticipation has reached a fever pitch. He's someone who likes to check things off the list, he's an advance-planner, and once he sets his mind to something, he gets it done. So once we installed the car seats, organized the nursery, washed all the baby clothes, and put together the hospital bag, he felt like, "Is it go time yet?" Now that I'm 35 weeks pregnant, I think we both feel like we can breathe a little easier, as far as the babies' health goes -- if they came now, they'd likely be just fine. And, let's be honest here, now that I've started snoring and waddling and basically need his help every time I get up off the couch, he might just be ready to have his able-bodied wife back.

So, with nothing else on our to-do list, now, I guess, we just wait. We only just recently made plans for our anniversary (July 14 -- oh, no, no need to send a gift), not knowing if the babies would be here already, if I'd be on bed rest, or if we'd have to worry about my water breaking in the middle of the salad course. Aside from that, we're just enjoying these last few lazy days -- napping, going to movies, hitting up plenty of restaurants. Hey, I'm in no rush, and I'm happily enjoying the calm before the storm. My husband, on the other hand, is eager, excited, raring-to-go -- he's ready to close the chapter on this whole pregnancy stage and finally meet the baby boys he's been looking forward to for months ... actually, years.

Is your husband more excited or nervous about your new baby on the way?


Image via kevinspencer/Flickr

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nonmember avatar Annie

My hub didn't have any anxiety attack, he just cleaned out our bank accounts quit his job abandonded his car. I was 7 months at the time and he was gone.

Angel... AngelenaMays

I have to agree.  Sometimes, fathers can be more anxious than mothers.  Studies also suggested that all these anxiety may hold fathers susceptible to postpartum depression too.


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