Pregnant Women Need Reminders to Stop Getting So Fat

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Breaking news, you guys! It seems that, incredibly, it may be possible to keep women from getting so damn fat during pregnancy—if they're forced to continually receive text messages reminding them that it's a moment on the lips ... and a lifetime on the hips.

That's right, there is a truly heroic effort underway to address our nation's most serious health problem: the insane amounts of lard women tend to pile on when they're knocked up. According to a Dr. Raul Artal, "Excessive weight gain in pregnancy is a major reason for the obesity epidemic in our country."

While this doesn't quite explain obesity in men or childless women, we should probably go ahead and assume that pregnant ladies are mistakenly shoving donuts in the mouths of nearby strangers while frenziedly aiming for their own slobbering, ravenous food-holes.

The study that's currently in progress in Melbourne, Australia is focused on overweight pregnant women, and includes a group that received, among other diet-related instructions, "frequent reminders" about not turning themselves into such a fatty-fatty-two-by-four.

The results were absolutely astounding. Are you ready for this?

It turns out that the group who were shamed via text message gained, on average, about two pounds less than those in the control group. ABOUT TWO POUNDS!

It's true that the study isn't complete yet and the recorded weights were at 28 weeks rather than throughout the entire pregnancies and there's no data as to whether the different weight had anything whatsoever to do with overall health or gestational diabetes rates, but who cares, right? TWO POUNDS! Hello, Nobel Prize committee? Obesity crisis solved.

It should be noted that Dr. Artal also strongly believes that the Institute of Medicine guidelines on pregnancy weight gain—15 to 25 pounds for women who are overweight and 11 to 20 pounds for women who are obese—"have done a disservice to women." "It is allowing too much weight gain" for women who are already obese or overweight, he said, presumably while nibbling a stick of celery and giving himself a colonic.

Okay, okay, listen. I know that there can be health complications from weight gain during pregnancy. I know most of us don't enjoy the often-difficult process of getting back to our pre-baby weight, and I know it's not advisable to spend the entire nine months of a pregnancy mainlining Ding-Dongs.

But COME ON. It's ridiculous to pinpoint pregnancy as the main factor in the nation's overall obesity numbers, and it's even more ridiculous to trumpet these half-assed "results" as if they have any scientific bearing at all. So pregnant women who are totally immersed in a weight-related program might gain slightly less weight than other women who aren't? STOP THE PRESSES OMFG.

I'm all for maintaining health during pregnancy and reducing risk for gestational diabetes, but I'll tell you right now, if I'd received a chirpy text message about watching my diet when I was carrying my babies? I'd have slathered that phone in peanut butter, sprinkled it with salt, and eaten it whole. Then I would have borrowed someone else's phone so I could text back a photo of my GIANT PREGNANT BUTT.

What do you think about this study? Would you sign up for receiving helpful text reminders about your weight during pregnancy?



Image via Flickr/o5com

weight gain, eating for two

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Wheep... Wheepingchree

No way, dude. My grandfather-in-law was so kind to leave articles about the new weight gain guidelines while i was pregnant. It made me cry. I didn't even gain a pound until my third trimester when i put on a ton of water weight & lost 2/3 of it before leaving the hospital. I f'in hate male doctors telling women how they need to look/eat while pregnant. I'll listen to that sh*t when they go through it.

Torry Beaven

I think those researchers should be given a medicine every day that makes them nauseated all day long and the only thing that makes it better is keeping something in your stomach.  Then we'll see how judgmental they are....

nonmember avatar Taube

Even fat pregnant women need to eat! They just need to do it WAY healthier than they are used to! I gained 50 pounds with my twins (at the end of my pregnancy I weighed 265!), and lost 45 within a few months of giving birth with no effort. 5 pounds is a small price to pay for 2 babies who were born at 37 weeks with no health problems and no NICU time whatsoever! (And I've since been on Jenny Craig and am under 200 now, although it's still a daily struggle!)

KeepThe Cheeze

I've never been pregnant so I have little knowledge to say on the subject, but I did listen to a science radio broadcast on the subject of childhood obesity. I don't remember a lot, but I do remember one scientist talking about how the the number of extra fat cells women acquire during their pregnancy has a direct result on how many fat cells the baby is born with. They were saying this might have something to do with how hard it is for some people to maintain a healthy wight or lose weight during the course of their life because of this. I guess maybe this is somewhat close to this subject...The broadcast I heard it on was NPR if that helps.

ashjo85 ashjo85

I'm what you would call overweight. I gained 55 pounds while I was pregnant, and I guarantee most of that was water. I lost 40 pounds in the first week, and the final 15 was gone within 6-9 months. I agree with above. I'll listen to their crap when they have to deal with it.

Kimberly Virga

Such a joke. "Normal sized average women" (what the fuck is that, by the way?!) I was told should only gain 19-23 pounds or something... yeah okay. I am a naturally five foot, 90 lb person. Extremely small boned. I gained 60 lbs in my first pregnancy with my son (who was 9 lbs, 12 oz and is currently two and a half and 28 pounds and 4 foot- obviously a tall and skinny kid) and there is ZERO obesity of any kind in my family or my husbands; with my daughter I gained 70 exactly and she weighed 8 lb, 9 oz at birth. She is 6 mos old and is 17 lbs and doctors are more than pleased with her progress. It's a bunch of shit about what people should and shouldn't gain. EAT. It's important for your baby! Good Lord. If you're eating JUNK then maybe taht is the issue; I ate very well and gained that much weight. I say tell them to kiss your ass.

Emily Chappell-Root

*snort* I'm naturally a big woman, six feet tall, thick, and I LOST weight from morning sickness with each of my 3 kids, about 30 to 40 lbs. The second I delivered, no matter how healthy I eat, I put it back on. I remember eating a piece of pie at a family reunion and my half sister and cousins started making nasty comments. My husband, who normally doesn't speak around anyone except close friends, began a discussion on how at least I was pregnant and had lost weight, and had another life to support, so what was their excuse? 

Lulu_B Lulu_B

I understand everyone's points, but you have to admit that there ARE people who eat whatever they want and as much as they want while pregnant. We always hear 'you're eating for two' which isn't exactly true, since the second person is very tiny! You can't just double your caloric intake. I agree that slapping a number down for how much weight you should gain isn't gonna work, but there are some people who do need guidance and assistance to not get to that unhealthy level.

nonmember avatar B

I know everyone is going to hate me for this but ... I didn't gain a pound while I was pregnant. My baby grew as I was losing weight everywhere else, balancing it out. I left the hospital 17 pounds lighter than I was before I got pregnant. I didn't starve myself, I just ate healthy foods, didn't "eat for two" and still did moderate exercise. I was of course worried about the baby when I wasn't gaining any weight, but my doctor said not to worry, the baby was great. And sure enough, I had an extremely health 8 1/2 pound baby girl.

nonmember avatar Taube

Yes, definitely some people need guidance on healthy eating while pregnant! But limiting weight gain is not the answer. And by the way, my twins? My son is 99%ile for height and weight, and his twin sister was less than 3%ile for weight and not much better for height, and we still have to actively work and pump her full of supplements to get her to grow and gain weight (they're now 3). So how I ate while pregnant (which was largely healthy, but also a lot, especially protein) had nothing to do with their weights now! My whole family is fat, so clearly my daughter got her weight genes from her father's family (thank God!).

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