An Open Letter to Alyssa Milano About Her 'Perfect' Pregnancy

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Alyssa MilanoDear Alyssa Milano,

You don't know me, but we grew up together. I so badly wanted to be you as I watched you week after week on Who's the Boss? I was pretty determined to change my name to Samantha too, but I never got around to it.

Anyway, congratulations on your pregnancy and all. It's been fun watching as you go through all the things that we pregnant women do, and you look fabulous. You clearly enjoy the whole miraculous pregnancy experience more than most. In fact, you're downright gushing about it all, ALL the time. I believe you were recently quoted as saying the following:

I've had such a great time being pregnant that you're probably going to see me more pregnant than not in the next few years because I'm really digging it.

Good for you, really. But as someone who got a little bit of a head start on you in the children department (my babies are 7 and 2), I have a few words of advice for you.

Stop with perfect pregnancy posturing! You're making us all jealous once again.

Also, you're in the honeymoon period of pregnancy right now, and unless you're among the very small population who enjoys it until the end (and I suspect most of them lie), you may be eating your words in a month or two ... well, if the heartburn allows you to consume anything at all by then.

Right now, you're having a blast picking out baby names and decorating the nursery for your new baby boy, but soon you may not be able to pick up anything from the floor because you will be so enormous. Don't get me wrong, it's a glorious time, but just don't start buying cribs for all these babies you plan to have soon. There's a chance you may change your mind about not seeing your toes or having a good night's sleep for years on end.

Even if your first pregnancy goes without a single uncomfortable day, your second pregnancy and those beyond it are NOTHING like your first. Because, you see, you have your first to chase around all day. So even if your head is in the toilet because of morning sickness, you still have to keep your first-born alive and well too. Add a couple more, and that perfectly blissful pregnancy of which you speak will be a long forgotten memory no matter how many nannies you may have.

I'm not trying to be a downer, and I hope you have a houseful of children and are pregnant for years to come if that's what you wish. I just wish you'd be a little less perky about the whole experience because there are pregnant women out there who can't relate. And like your perfectly feathered hair back in the day, you're causing us all to yearn for what's unattainable for most.

Sincerely,

A mother who has been there, done that.

P.S. Also, your cravings for broccoli are LAME. Could you please think about some French fries dipped in a chocolate milkshake with a side of marshmallows or something?

Do women who gush about the perfection of pregnancy make you gag ... even a little?


Image via Splash News

celeb moms, baby prep

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Janette Chaviano Alonso

Love it!!!! My first pregnancy wasn't so bad. (I was also 20). My second was ok until the end. Even worst as the days past my due date came and went. (I was 23 still good) Now I'm on my third ( I'm 27)and it has been the hardest!!! My husband wants a 4th. (this is another boy, he wants a daddy's girl) To tell you the truth I'm not sure I can handle another 10 months. Oh and I crave chocolate chip cookie.....Damn now I want cookies!!!!!

Proud... ProudSingleMum

We're not all lying! I LOVED being pregnant, I felt healthy and wonderful the whole way through it. I DID have horrendous heartburn, but that was almost the only downfall. Toward the end I was anxious because I wanted to see the face of the little person growing inside me, but I still didn't hate being pregnant. Now...the birth almost killed me...so maybe that's the consolation prize for having a wonderful pregnancy. Who knows...but I enjoyed it. Glad to hear she is as well. (although RAISING a child and being pregnant are 2 completely different things, and no matter how wonderful pregnancy is, it results in a child...that you must raise....so...maybe she won't be pregnant non-stop, once she realizes how much her life will change after the baby's here.)

Beths... Bethsunshine

Yes I do get a little jealous when I hear about women with perfect pregnancies!! I had horrible pregnancies, especially the second time. I was in and out of the hospital for the last 2 months, in constant pain, and trying to take care of a two year old. I've told my husband more than once, that if it was possible to give birth without being pregnant, I'd have had 10 kids.

mommo... mommommamommyyy

My first pregnancy was awful.  I was 18 and so sick, all the time. I had my first daughter at 30 weeks.  My second pregnancy, at 21, was the healthiest! I craved apples, bananas and cinnamon apple oatmeal. I had my second daughter full-term!

gojim... gojimmygo

I LOVED being pregnant. I had heartburn so bad I couldn't lay down. I peed my pants more than once. I had abhorrent hemhroids and cried every time I had to go to the bathroom. Many times the hardwood floor was the only place I could sleep comfortably. I never complained about these things. And I seriously, honest and truly, loved every single minute of it. I fully appreciated the short period of time when I had my little guy with me constantly. I would not say my pregnancy was "perfect" but I would say that I was extraordinarily happy to be pregnant no matter what discomforts it brought upon my body. 

nonmember avatar becca

I get really jealous because I got PUPPS and then Bells Palsy and on top of it terrible stretch mearks! But I wouldn't wish that on any one else. I just wish that a celebrity would show us their stretch marks I mean there has to be atlest one with them right???

Molly Uncensored

With fans like you, who meeds enemies? Could you be more condesending to her? She's a first-time mom and she's enjoying her experience. Why do you want to ruin that? I get that you're a BTDT mom - I am too - but your experience isn't everyone's experience and you're coming off as a jaded jerk. This post reminds me of those women who would say "TRUST ME, enjoy the sleep now because when that baby comes you'll miss it!" I'm so happy to say that those pissy know-it-alls were wrong!

nonmember avatar Shel

Everyone is different and she is loving her pregnancy and all that goes with it. I am pregnant and am loving it, all of it. There are some of us out there not lying about that. And I crave green beans not cookies. This "letter" was pretty rude, if her life bothers you so much then stop reading about her.

Dazzl... DazzlednSeattle

I loved being pregnant, my labors were 4 hours long with hardly a wince and I loved the stereotypically horrible baby stage.


I could totally be a Duggar, no problem.  


... Except that babies don't stay babies forever. The "7" kids I wanted before I had my first dwindled to "5"... then after he got older it dwindled to "3"... and then my second son came and we decided to keep it at the pair. Things change. : )


 

madja... madjanssen

I had a 'better' pregnancy than some of my other friends so when comparing 'pregnancy notes', I always make sure to tell them that despite the absence of morning sickness and painful joints etc. , I had massive exhaustion. I was always tired and couldn't really do much before I had to sit or lie down.  I didn't think there was such a thing as a perfect pregnancy because all of my friends had always something to tell and we all sought comfort in that shared arduous period in our lives. It's great that AlyssaM is having such a great pregnancy but we all know that period of our lives (some of us) can be the worst so to hear someone speak so glowingly of their experiences can really affect our mindset. I'm sure AlyssaM doesn't mean to but somewhere out there is a mother-to-be who has her head in the toilet bowl half of the day and when she reads what AlyssaM said, it will just make her feel bad about herself that she has to go through it so drudgingly whilst AlyssaM is happily breezing her way through 9 months. And let's not forget that that same mother-to-be will most probably do it alone whilst AlyssaM has her share of nannies, chauffeurs and other emenities to help her.  She can't help it of course but if we can help to not make other women feel bad about themselves, pregnancy or otherwise, shouldn't we at least try?! Esp. since it's something only us women will ever know.

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