'Pregnant in Heels' Mom Doesn't Think Her Kid Will Get Dirty ... Ever

Jeanne Sager
9

Rosie PopeThere are two types of moms who watch Bravo's Pregnant in Heels. The moms who are pregnant and hoping to catch a glimpse of someone else in their shoes ... and the moms who have already been there, done that, and are indulging in the fantasy that they NEVER got crazy like the ladies Rosie Pope deals with daily. But a mom named Michelle Schaeffer just burst that little bubble.

Michelle is under the assumption that pregnancy is not going to change her pampered ways. Specifically? She won't have to clean (or cook) a thing. Nothing. Nada. Nunca. Oh, ho, talk about a gut buster right there. I needed that laugh. Thank you Mrs. Schaeffer!

Seriously, has she heard what kids do? They poop, all OVER everything! They puke, all over EVERYTHING. And that's just in the first days of life. Just wait until they get moving and start dragging books off shelves and drooling on, well, EVERYTHING. Yup, kids are messy. Even the kids of Manhattan's elite.

The rich wife of a retired Wall Street exec turned toy company maven, Michelle was typical of the extreme that shows up on Pregnant in Heels. When I say she wanted to clean nothing, I really mean nothing. While watching Rosie and her assistant LT strew some blocks around the floor of the Schaeffer apartment and throw in some dirty onesies, Michelle was ashen. She couldn't believe they'd actually made a mess in her ship-shape abode.

So let's face it, the average American mama isn't rich enough to never clean a thing in her house. BUT, if I had a nickel for the number of preggos who expected to be able to "just teach their kids to clean up after themselves," I'd be a thousandaire at least. In particular, I recall a high school friend and his pregnant wife dropping by my house a few years back when they were in town visiting family. They were staying at his sister's home, where they were getting in time with their niece and nephew. 

Looking at my clean but cluttered home, courtesy of my then 2-year-old, my friend shook his head and passed a comment that my house looked just like his sister's. It wasn't said with malice, but there was an undertone of judgement, a bit of that "oh, we're expecting, but we will never be like THESE people" in his voice. I could have taken offense, but I just nodded the way a woman who has once been pregnant and idealistic can. Yup, my house looks like his sister's as we both had children the same age. And their house was about to look just about the same.

Michelle Schaeffer was certainly over-the-top control crazy, but she was the perfect candidate for Pregnant in Heels: a larger than life version of the average pregnant mom. She learned the most important lesson of pregnancy; throw out your expectations, immediately. You're serving the baby now. And that means cleaning up a lot of messes.

Did you watch this episode? What did you think of Michelle's "never clean, never cook" motto?

 

Image via Bravo

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