Dear Strangers: Shut Up About My Big Pregnant Belly Already!

on April 6, 2011 at 4:56 PM

belly bump
My belly at 22 weeks!So, it's happened -- I've fully popped. No longer are strangers not-so-subtly glancing down, trying to figure out if it's chub or a belly bump. My tummy is large and in charge, sticking out there for the world to see, too obvious for a blousy shirt to hide. Hey, it's great, I'm loving my pregnant body, but what I'm not loving are the people who go, "How far along are you? Five months?! You're HUGE!"

Uh, ouch. A few days ago, three separate people got all bug-eyed and mouths agape, shocked that I wasn't further along, considering how ginormous I am. I'm sorry, but when did it suddenly become okay to tell a woman, any woman, that she's big? That's not cool, not cool at all!

Okay, granted, when I explain that I'm carrying twins, it suddenly makes more sense to these people. But still! What if it was just one baby in there? Way to make a girl feel self-conscious. One of my best friends ended up delivering a 9.5-pound baby. When she was 7 months along, people actually asked her if she was having twins, which I think is the equivalent of saying, "Wow, you're way too huge to have just one in there."

For the record, I haven't gained very much weight during this pregnancy, and what I have gained has all gone to my belly, for the most part. They're also measuring about a week big so far, which, in my mind, is a blessing. I want my babies to be big and healthy, and if that means I'm growing big and healthy too, so be it!

Yes, the body-conscious part of me still wants to yell, "Hey, back off bitches!" but the other part of me is happy and relieved to be carrying two strong, bruiser-size babies. So people can go ahead and gawk at my belly size, I don't care. I'm just past the halfway mark, so if they think I'm big now, they should get a load of me come June and July!

What kind of rude comments have you gotten during your pregnancy?

Image via Jenny Benjamin

About the author Jenny Benjamin

has been sky-diving, white-water rafting, scuba diving, and has seen brown bears up-close in the Alaskan wilderness. And yet, what she finds most exciting is a DVR box packed with shows, and hours of free time to watch them.

Filed Under: 2nd trimester, the pregnant life, twins & multiples, weight gain, body image

Comments (21)

EvaSamuel

on Apr 6, 2011 at 5:17 PM

I was 39 weeks with my 10lb. 12 oz. son and a woman in Macy's looked at me (I didn't make eye contact) and asked, "Wow, just one baby?" I think that if I had maimed her in some way no jury would have convicted me. But I didn't. Nor did I have a snappy comeback, it would have made me feel better if I had zinged her.

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jalaz77

on Apr 6, 2011 at 5:19 PM

I guess it never bothered me when people made comments. Especially since my tops were fitting, I wasn't hiding my belly. My MIL isn't very smart and when I was 6 months prego she said oh your starting to show even though I had to bust out my maternity stuff at 8 weeks! Some people get offended, don't flaunt your pretty prego belly then. Keep in mind the people that say stuff are the people that usually come from a generation where you hid your belly. I love prego bellies : )

Anastazia975

on Apr 6, 2011 at 5:23 PM

The only things I absolutely hated while pregnant was strange people groping my tummy, comments about me not gaining enough(I'm 6'1", I didnt look very big) and people trying to dictate what I could or could not eat or drink. The touching me really irked me the most though...

Nonmember comment from Shelly

on Apr 6, 2011 at 6:19 PM

A woman actually asked me if I was anorexic and needed help. Apparently...to her...I looked barely pregnant even though my due date was in 4 days. Seriously?!! I DID gain 35 pounds and it was all belly. Somehow, my belly didn't get that big, though. I can't tell you how many "Are you eating anything?" comments I got. UGH. Don't even get me started on the comments I got when my weight was back to normal within a couple of weeks. People treated me like I needed to be hooked up to a feeding tube!

redhandedjyll

on Apr 6, 2011 at 9:32 PM

my best friend would zing people. she's tiny- 4'11", and 116 lbs at 8 months pregnant. It was so fun walking with her, people would come up and inappropriately grab her belly, at which she would turn around and grab theirs, and say something like "oh, i thought that was how you said hello in rudeville" or when people would comment on how "huge" she was, she would comment with "thanks, I'm about to have a baby, what's your excuse?" Rude, sure. but she was 8 months preggo. I'm proud of her not pummeling anyone.

Nonmember comment from India

on Apr 6, 2011 at 10:43 PM

People at my job would literally ask me weekly if I was sure I wasn't having twins, and they weren't just joking. They would stare wide eyed at my ginormous belly and "are u sure its not more than one?" Yeaa like you can really miss that. I'm barely 5'2 gained 12ibs during my pregnancy and gave birth to a 9ib 1oz 21in baby boy, baby #3.

sophgro

on Apr 6, 2011 at 11:25 PM

I am between that chub and belly phase. I haven't had any "oh how far... geez... are you sure..." yet. But when I do, I think I might zing 'em too. Tell them to put on some gloves and take a peek if they are so curious. Or ask them which medical school they went too. Or ask them if they've ever been pregnant, and yeah I didn't think so, because a pregnant person wouldn't ever say something like that. I'm a big girl, I've lost lots of weight in the past, and now I'm excited to have the big belly with an excuse rolling around inside and I want to wear it proudly!

cek302

on Apr 7, 2011 at 7:32 AM

After being accused of having twins too many times over the course of 3 pregnancies - I decided that it isn't really anyone's business "when I'm due". So I avoid answering the question. Then people get uncomfortable and change the subject or go away. I let my guard down for one lady in the mid-wive's office & she was shocked at big I was. We chatted it up and I decided rather than being snarky I'd just say I'm blessed with big healthy babies which are far easier to care for. She proceeded to tell me her largest baby, 42 weeks was 5 lbs. The other baby was less than a pound! So she really had no idea what is is like to carry a 9 lb baby!

CoolRelax

on Apr 7, 2011 at 9:27 AM

Wow, you're looking great for 22 weeks! I was just barely starting to show at that point. I carried my twins pretty small, and I think I'd rather have your problem than the other way around. People would say, "You're having twins? Where are they -you're so small!" My tummy didn't get huge until I was about 30 weeks. Umm, hello stretch marks, lol! I think it's better to get big gradually.

kaylaird

on Apr 7, 2011 at 3:06 PM

Ugh, it really chaps my hide that when a woman is pregnant, it's suddenly okay to comment on her size/weight. Last I checked, that was NEVER okay. When did I lose my status as a human being because I'm pregnant?

The worst thing for me is people touching me. Keep your grubby hands to yourself, k? Thanks. And inappropriate questions. If I wasn't pregnant, would you be asking about the condition of my cervix or when my last period was? No? Okay, then shut up!

Idk. Maybe it's the hormones making me so grouchy about it, but it really gets me riled up.