Protect His Sperm With an iPad

laptop dangerous for spermI’m not typing this right now on my laptop, I’m in the office at the computer. But I often work from my couch, sipping wine cocoa, my laptop on my lap, click-clacking away. Usually, right next to me, is my husband, also working on his laptop -- or checking those Syracuse basketball stats.

We are a modern couple. We’re talking, we’re connecting, but each of us is also doing three other things (I didn’t mention the iPhones or the latest episode of Top Chef  that's on the tube). A perfectly lovely modern evening for any married couple, right?

But his laptop is totally killing off any sibling for our daughter. Yes, I may be overacting a bit, but that computer is boiling his swimmers, scorching his sperm.

I decided to fix this. I bought him an iPad.


How do we know the warriors in his Willie Wonka are getting wilted? There’s been talk for years about tight underwear and hot baths affecting sperm, but now there’s a study out of Italy that says a mere hour of laptop on the lap can make the testicle temp rise two degrees --- twice the level that can lead to infertility problems.

One hour isn’t much. Sure, you can buffer the laptop at home by putting a pillow underneath, but what about when he’s travelling or just forgetting to put that buffer there can be all it takes to cause sperm issues. The experts say females don't have anything to worry about in terms of lapping the laptop -- we can breath easy, ladies.

So, yeah, I bought him an iPad. Not only does it not get as hot, you usually keep the cover on it when you work with it, so there’s an automatic buffer. heck, if iPad sales ever wane, Apple could definitely use the "less harm to sperm" as a selling point. 

Possible slogan: iPad. It won’t fry Frankie Jr.

Does your husband keep his laptop on his lap?

Image via danhodgett/Flickr

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