Moms-to-Be Don't Deserve Fun Sex

bedroomConventional wisdom has it that trying to conceive is supposed to be fun. You get to have sex. Lots and lots of silly, goofy, all over the house sex! It's like the newlywed phase all over again.

Lots of lube. Lots of love. Of course, when you have spent month after month having sex in every room of the house every other day and no baby, it starts to get old (Not there yet? Trust me, it does.). Infertility is not fun.

So what if I told you good sex was part of your problem?


Uh huh, this is a shocker, but here it is. Lube, the salvation of so many marriages it's impossible to count, is bad for his man juice. According to scientists most popular lubricants are "toxic" to sperm, killing the little swimmers' motility. In layman's speak, they just don't swim, meaning they won't move up to meet the egg and make a baby.

And that's not all! Even using a little old-fashioned spit (which, frankly, does nothing anyway), can hurt your baby-making chances. From WebMd: "Personal lubricants, lotions and even saliva can interfere with sperm motility."

This is apparently old news, but not something that's widely known. And when put with new news that found the use of lube gives women higher levels of pleasure and satisfaction, I'll say it outright. It sucks. Essentially the world is telling women that if they want to get pregnant, they have to sacrifice on fun in the bedroom.

How puritanical! How sexist! How depressing! And how counter intuitive.

Although the world has a lot to learn about infertility, there's one thing that scientists have found conclusively: infertility stresses women out. And stressed women have a harder time getting pregnant. It's a Catch 22, but there it is. Now guess what has been conclusively linked to reducing a woman's stress? You guessed it -- good sex. Having sex releases oxytocin and endorphins, the "feel-good" hormones. That's the stuff that lasts past the orgasm and positively affects your whole day (and on into the next morning -- hence that "you had sex" glow that your BFF in the office can see on your face).

So what's a baby hungry sex goddess to do? WebMd suggests trading your lube and your spit for vegetable, safflower or peanut oil. Hey, it's worth a try.

Do you use lube?


Image via PlayfulLibrarian/Flickr

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