The Grey's Anatomy pregnancy we've all been waiting for is here. Callie is officially pregnant. And now America's getting a look at what it means to use a "known donor" to have a baby, up close and personal.
Of course it's being done in soap opera-style. For those of you who didn't catch last night's Twitter-fueled episode: Callie and girlfriend Arizona Robbins were broken up, so she slept with ex-sex buddy Mark Sloane to relieve a little sexual tension. She got pregnant. Robbins came back and said, "I love you," and now here we stand.
Callie and Arizona have a relationship, and a baby on the way. But Sloane lives across the hall.
And as he told Callie last night, "I don't want to be the cool uncle." The baby-hungry Sloane wants to be a DAD. Not real life. Most regular couples don't have a weird love triangle going on. But it offers a valid look at one major complication in the "known donor" realm -- whether it's a donated womb (surrogacy), donated eggs, donated sperm, or a mixture of the above.
People want to help. People love babies and love parenting so much, they want to share. At a baby shower just a few weeks ago, my friend announced, "I loved being pregnant, I would have been a surrogate for X, no problem." Only X is in her family. Where she'd see the child every day, and I can't help thinking she'd want to weigh in on the parenting of said child. And that's simply as a gestational carrier. Heck, she'll weigh in on my parenting (in a good, welcome way -- no complaints), and she has no biological tie to my kid.
Imagine donating your eggs or your mate donating his sperm to someone you know, then watching from afar as your child's sibling is parented in ways that you're not crazy about. We all love our siblings and cousins, but they aren't us. They make very different choices. Some of them really crappy. Knee-jerk? Yes. Old-fashioned? Absolutely.
But not to be discounted. We take parenting seriously -- and for good reason. Unwanted advice comes fast and furious when you're a parent because of it. But it's easy to discount that advice from an old biddy at the box store. Not so easy when you know that person helped MAKE your kid.
It's not an impossible hurdle to mount. There are many families who have welcomed that additional positive force in their kid's life. How could a child have "too much love" after all? I want to wrap my arms around the idea. I have a daughter who is lucky enough to have four living grandparents who love her, a biological uncle, and a ton of friends who adore her. The more, the merrier. But I admit I take comfort knowing that my husband and I are her parents. We have the final say on what goes (and we bristle when our decisions are usurped).
I'll be watching to see if Grey's Anatomy can give this enough realism to solve my emotional issues once and for all, but I'm not betting on it. For the sake of this kid, maybe it's time to have someone transferred out of this triangle.
What do you think?
Image via ABC