Here are the facts: Almost four years ago, I gave birth to my daughter. I had a c-section. I had an epidural. And I liked it.
I hear that collective gasp from all of you “natural birth” moms. Stop it. Seriously. We all have better things to do (like finding that missing plastic Iguanodon buried under some cushion or figuring out what to do during Snowmageddon #5 of this nasty winter season).
SAHM versus WOHM, to vaccinate or not to vaccinate, to ban playdates a la crazy bee-atch Tiger Mom or allow playdates a la Normal Mom. So many mommy debates. But the one that drives me supercrazy is the labor debate -- to epidural or not to epidural.
Medicine and childbirth have come a long way, baby. We live in the modern world. We have modern medicine available to us, which was created to help us moms in the first moments of motherhood. Just like the machines that monitor the baby’s heartbeat and the ultrasounds we all got. All are part of the great advancements in the medical world that help make childbirth safer.
Now there’s a book out telling me I don’t have to feel guilty about getting an epidural during my daughter’s birth. In his book Epidural Without Guilt: Childbirth Without Pain, Dr. Gilbert Grant, a New York City-based anesthesiologist, illuminates why epidurals are actually good for you (they may speed the childbirth process along and may help with breastfeeding, blah blah blah). He tells women that we don’t have to feel guilty for choosing to have an epidural.
Great. Whoo hoo. But I didn’t need a book to tell me that. I feel fine and dandy about my choice. I didn’t think twice about getting pain relief when I wanted it. To me, it is a non-issue, created by those women who didn’t get one. Those women who are walking around bragging to everyone about how they had a "natural" labor, how badly it hurt, how they survived.
Please. You did not have a better childbirth experience than I did. We each had our own unique experience. Thankfully, we both have our child here in this world, we both love our child ad infinitum. The only thing different about our labors? Mine hurt less.
How do you feel about epidurals?
Image via Lunchbox Photography/Flickr
This Hot Dad Wants to Do Your Ironing
KStew Refuses to Shower
This Hot Dad Wants to Cook You Dinner
This Hot Dad Cooks AND Does the Dishes
Comments 111
From your words, can't you see that the judgement cuts both ways? In your own words, it's an issue by 'those women, walking around bragging to everyone about how they had a "natural" labour.' When you look at those words, don't they sound... hostile? Because, as one of "those women" it sure sounds hostile to me!
Contrary to what you seem to think, I am not judging you. I'm glad that you had a wonderful birth experience. I think we are fortunate that we live in an era where we have choices when it comes to how we give birth. Just as you are happy with your epidural, I was happy without mine. I didn't have a natural labour because I wanted to lord it over you for the rest of your life. I chose what felt right and positive to me, just as you chose what felt right and positive to you. How I chose to give birth has nothing to do with anyone but me... so I don't understand the hostility in your tone or the need to group mothers into those who had epis and "those women" who didn't.
@Freela, I totally agree!
I agree with Freela too. You are trying to say that natural birth moms put down moms who get epidurals, but you are the one putting us down.
Also agreeing with Freela. I had a natural labor by choice, as I was concerned about the possible side effects of an epidural, which are very real. I harbor no judgements against those women who are able to accept that risk, but I was too afraid. On top of that, I wanted to have the experience of going through something very difficult and getting past it with the help of my husband. It was incredible, and it changed our lives. I tell people that story not to brag about it, but to tell other women that it was a good experience for me so that they have that option as well. I don't judge them for not choosing to do it that way. The pain was horrible and I almost changed my mind several times, so I can't fault anyone who decides to avoid it altogether.
I had my son with an epidural and my daughter natural. I enjoyed every minute having my son because it was pain free! But having my daughter was a great experience, it was completely natural! So I've given birth both ways and would never judge anybody for their choice.