Pizza Hut Thinks Its Pizza Is More Exciting Than Childbirth

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stuffed crust pizzaAs if we needed any more proof that corporate America thinks it's the bomb. Now Pizza Hut wants you to know its new stuffed crust deal is a big deal of Joe Biden proportions. And by big, we mean bigger than giving birth to a child.

In a new commercial (so new it wasn't even on YouTube at press time), a couple is practically orgasming over the prospect of getting their ooey gooey stuffed crusted goodness for only $10 a pie. Yup, $10 a pie! The day they heard that was the best day of their lives! And come on, can you blame them? I can't wait for my daughter to get one of those Book It slips so I have an excuse to hit the Hut and bite me off a piece of that dough-cased mozzarella.

Then there are this couple's kids, who seem to think the day they were born was supposed to rank slightly higher than an artery-clogging, New Year's resolution ruining pizza. Dang kids. Always there to yank you back down to reality.

And here's where I yank Pizza Hut down a peg or two. Oh masters of the onion and mushroom on melty cheese with sauce I pretend I like, you have failed me. You actually let the parents cave.

Of course our kids' births were better! Totes! Best two days of our lives were the days you were born.

'Scuse me? Hello? Woman who gave birth here? Thirteen hours of labor, child banging her bony skull against my hip (or so it seemed), 45 minutes of pushing, etc. give me leave to call BS on these parents, and on you Pizza Hut. Your pizza doesn't rank over my kid (gotta work on that sauce, dudes), but the day you give birth is not the best day of your life. No matter what kind of little miracle comes out of you.

The day you give birth is probably the first day you've pooped yourself since the second grade. And it's definitely the first time you've ever tried to push a watermelon-sized something through an apple-sized hole. It's not all unicorns and rainbows coming out of the vag.

Ah, still trying to recover from the thought of poop and vaginas in the same sentence as your pizza? Try this one on for size: if the day you give birth is the best day of your life, that means every day you spend with your kid sucks in comparison.

Have you seen this commercial yet? Is it an eye roller?

 

Image via Pizza Hut

labor & delivery, labor

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Lesley 'Carter' Maly

Nope have yet to see it. Personally HATE Pizza Hut the sauce it WAY to sweet and they put to much on it and it's WAY over priced for what it is. Domino's and Little Caesars is so much better.

irock... irocksocks

Pizza Hut IS better!! Who doesnt love Piza hut? & it feels way better than childbirth!

hotic... hoticedcoffee

Haven't seen it.  All the chains have nasty pizza - Hut, Domino's, Caesar's, Papa Johns - all gross -  a day that I got an unmedicated root canal would rank higher on a day with slice from one of those places.  We have great little mom & pop places around here, and they get all my business.

jeann... jeannesager

In general, I agree with you HotIced! Sadly this is one of those weaknesses, kind of like white bread :). Also, my fave local pizza joint closed two years ago, and I've been mourning ever since.

EHolman EHolman

Haven't seen it and I don't eat that crap either. I used to but as with Starbucks I have been introduced to much better and can't do the big chain food anymore. I <3 mountain high pizza pie. If anyone makes it to Alaska it's a must have. Mmm I'm thinking dinner :)

Proud... ProudSingleMum

I don't like Pizza Hut because they use fresh mushrooms on their pizza....I LOVE fresh mushrooms, but for pizza...they really taste better canned.

nonmember avatar Marissa

I think you are overreacting.

momof... momoflilangel

I haven't seen the commercial yet.

frysh... fryshannon34

I havent seen this commercial yet!I do love it when their pizzas are $10 though

clean... cleanaturalady

I haven't seen it.  I try to avoid commercials. 

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