James Van Der Beek and his wife, Kimberly, had every intention of a natural birth for their daughter Olivia. They had a doula, picked a hospital that would support it, and had decided to just say no to any drugs. Then came labor, and that plan ... well, it was soon a memory.
Kimberly had a difficult labor. The baby switched her position at the last minute and wasn’t coming up from under her pelvic bone. After four hours of pushing and little progress, she ended up asking for the drugs. In the end, Olivia had to be developed with the help of forceps.
“We were one of those couples who was all about natural birth. We had the right doctor, we had the right doula and the right nurse at the hospital,” James, 33, explains. “Kimberly did it as naturally as she could, but at the end of the day, we were very glad we were in the hospital.”
Besides probably raising the ire of staunch home birth advocates, the couple's admission is likely to make many women feel a little better about their own ditching of the birth plan. While it can be disappointing, it happens to many women.
You know that saying about the best laid plans ... well, parenting is full of them, so if you get baptized with that realization that things aren't always going to go according to them at birth, then look at it as a sooner-the-better kind of thing.
It's great to know what you want and plan for that, but it's also necessary -- oh so necessary -- to be able to reroute when things don't go as you wished, without beating yourself up like that voice on your GPS who chastises you for going off course. And really, in the end, any disappointment over your birth experience pales in comparison to the amazing child you have brought into the world.
“The labor was tough,” Kimberly, 28, admits, “but you forget about it the second they put her in your arms.”
Did you stick with your original birth plan or have to readjust?
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